


Ward M

by tea_leaves_and_dvds



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-14 01:33:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 29,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/831175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tea_leaves_and_dvds/pseuds/tea_leaves_and_dvds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers are too much of a risk for SHIELD and it's time for them to disappear. The only one who finds them is Loki, whose memory has been erased after he was given back to Midgard. The world will reject them as heroes, pretending they were ever only insane.</p><p>I promise this is not just a torture fic. There will be a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Can you tell me about the patients in ward M, Doctor Fury?” Loki asked as they walked past another set of large white doors, a large red M painted over them to distinguish it from the other sections of the hospital. His dark green uniform was neatly ironed and for the fifth time he wondered if he should have worn sneakers, like the other nurses, rather than formal black shoes for his first day at work. The taller man let out a breath and Loki watched his brows furrow in concentration, and Loki wondered if he was deciding how much to tell him.

“Patients Banner, Stark, Odinson, Romanoff, Rogers and Barton share a very peculiar condition.” He made note of the names “They have an undifferentiated type of schizophrenia, and there’s a lot about their conditions that we still don’t understand. But over the past few years they’ve developed some sort of collective delusion.” The man stretched the last few words out, like he himself had trouble believing that a delusion was all it was. “They believe they’re some type of heroes…” Loki raised an eyebrow, almost amused. “They call themselves ‘The Avengers’. Both together and individually they face overblown, grand conflicts against an assortment of enemies: human, alien, monsters, gods, you name it… They might even make you into one.” He said and Loki took another look at the door as they kept walking towards Fury’s office, wondering what type of villain they would make him out to be.

“So how do you snap them out of it?” he asked, the M on the door looked almost sinister, mocking him and he held back a shudder.

“We don’t.” Loki’s head snapped back to look at the man. “There are some people you just can’t fix.” He told him, staring ahead. “The best we can do is try to keep them out of trouble.” His eyes were vacant and, looking at him closely, Loki could almost make out traces of a scar under his eye. He nodded slowly and stared ahead as they kept walking. “Try not to get too involved with them.” He said and Loki gave a small nod.

“Yes, sir.” He said quietly.

* * *

"What are we going to do?" Natasha asked, her nails had been recently cut so short the sensitive pink skin showed and there were traces where her fingers had bled a bit. Clint sat by her, the once sharp eyes were now hazy from the medicine and he leaned his head on her shoulder to keep it from falling forward. 

"What  _can_  we do?" Bruce asked almost miserably, his eyes hazy as well but less so, since the medicine they'd administered to him served a different purpose. "The suits are destroyed, the Hulk is sleeping, and Thor's powers got stripped... and Steve is in ‘therapy’ right now." They tensed. It was hard to believe how hard they'd fallen.

"So what?" Tony asked, the fighting spirit almost beaten out of him "What does SHIELD want?" Almost. He had half a mind to barge out of the room and make another break for it but they were too weak, too drugged up and Natasha's cuts still bled when she walked, so Thor had to carry her most places. 

"We" Clint spoke and his breathing was harsh. Bruce leaned forward and checked on him for the fourth time that hour. "We know too much." he shuddered. "We probably became too much for... them to handle." Out of all of them, his medicine was the strongest, leaving him drooling and practically dead most days but when the guards were feeling "nice", they'd give him enough so that he could still be aware of the things going on around him and of the pain that the medicine caused his head and body. 

"We'll get out." Tony muttered, before the guards came and pulled them all apart and shoved him into his single room, he saw out of the corner of his eye, as he struggled, how Thor fought to keep Natasha for getting hit and Bruce took most of the blows aimed at Clint. 

* * *

“For a genius, Dr. Banner” The name rolled off the archer’s tongue easily, despite how his lungs worked to push them out with any force. “You’re kind of an idiot.” Clint stared up at him, the Doctor’s lips are split in several places and his right cheek was badly bruised again. His own chest still hurt from the medicine but talking was no longer a great feat and it was easier to focus on the man’s face hovering over his own.

“We share a cell, Barton.” Bruce mumbled and fought the urge to bite his lip and cause himself any more pain. His jaw hurt from the way one of the agents had gripped his neck. “I think you can call me Bruce at this point.” He ran his hand over a smooth bandage on Clint’s chest, one of the last they had. His eyes flickered back to Clint’s face and he reached for a jar of cream that would help with the pain of the bruises, one of the few things they tossed him when he begged for the first aid kit, and slowly smeared it on the bruises on Clint’s neck and face.   
  
“Then call me Clint.” He said and managed to place a hand over Bruce’s. “You didn’t have to take all those hits for me…” he assured him and Bruce cracked a small smile.   
  
“We need you alive to get out, Clint.” He pointed out and the archer snorted bitterly, his lungs immediately protesting. Bruce began to pack the things back into the small bag to save in case they’d need it later, but Clint grabbed the small jar.   
  
“Lay down.” He ordered and pat the section of the bed by him. Bruce sighed but seeing the other wasn’t going to leave him alone, he lay down, his back to him. Clint pulled the thin hospital shirt up and tried not to wince as he saw the large bruises on the doctor’s skin. He slowly smeared the cream over the man’s back, praying for the first time in a while that they’d be able to leave someday. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, second chapter! Not a lot of Loki in this one but he's coming up soon!

“Thanks, big guy” Natasha said as Thor set her down on the hard hospital bed. With as raw as her back was, she could swear she could feel every spring pressing into her skin. Thor came with a pillow and raised her head gently and placed it under her before he sat by her bedside.

“At times, they seem to enjoy beating you.” He said; his long blonde hair was as matted as Natasha’s was, but unlike the first few days, he no longer recoiled from the smell of blood and sweat that seemed to cling to it.

She rubbed her thumb against the curved nub that was each nail. “They probably remember spar practice then.” He heard more than saw her smile, the cool plastic of the mattress against his swelling face was too soothing to pull away from. They sat in comfortable silence, neither feeling the need to fill the space with plans of escape or regrets. “Your boyfriend is coming.” She said softly, her ears picking up the familiar sound of Steve’s muted struggles. She turned her head to watch Thor move, noting his left leg dragged a bit as he made it to the door.

Thor’s eyes narrowed as the door swung open, guards pointing weapons inside until he took a step back and they pushed Steve in. He caught him, his leg almost giving way, but held onto the rough white fabric that Steve was wrapped in until the doors closed, leaving them in the dark. “Can you walk, my friend?” he asked and he watched the options swarm through Steve’s eyes before he shook his head, his eyes hidden by the shaggy blond hair. “Very well.” He said softly and set him down on the ground, propped up against the metal door. Thor walked slowly to his own bed and used what little strength he had left to move it by Natasha’s. She moved over slightly and worked to sit up as Thor picked up Steve and set him down by her.

She brushed the hair out of his eyes. “Don’t feel so bad, Rogers” she said and began to work on the leather mouthpiece they always gave them during therapy. “We all got a beating today.” Thor sat by his other side, undoing the simpler straps of the straight jacket that they put him in and shifted him as gently as he could to get the larger straps on the back of the jacket.

“I think the bastards broke my leg.” Thor smiled as he heard the familiar voice once the mouthpiece came off and he helped him out of heavy jacket. Steve’s hospital gown was bleeding through but they all knew that there would be nothing they could do about it until morning.

“Well, the doc can take a look at you tomorrow morning.” Natasha said. “Thor can give you a piggyback.” She said with a tired smile as Thor tossed the contraptions off the bed.

“Ay” Thor said and helped Steve get more comfortable, even though he knew the other felt ashamed. “Sleep, we’ll be let out into the common area tomorrow.” He stood to go to the remaining bed.

Natasha watched him “Hey” she said “stay with us,” she nodded to the leftover space by Steve. More than anyone else, the loneliness was hitting Thor the hardest and she felt in debt to him for how he cared for them “we could all use a little comfort.”

Thor looked at the space “I don’t think I’ll fit” he said but pushed the last bed to line up with the other two, his body crying out for him to stop. He climbed onto the bed and despite his pride, he moved close to them, allowing himself to take comfort in their presence. “Goodnight, my friends.” He said and closed his eyes.

* * *

 

Morning was slow torture. The light that came in through the door of their cells abused their eyes and the sound of blaring horns shook their brains into a frenzied state. The first time Tony heard it, he swore it sounded like the alarm in the tower, and he wondered if it was one of the ways that they were trying to drive them crazy. He stood slowly, his beating having done little but bruise a few ribs and he walked over to Bruce’s cell to help Clint out to the common area before the guards decided they were taking too long. “Any better, Legolas?” he asked Clint as he and Bruce helped him walk down the long hall to where there were four couches arranged in a “U” around a TV.

Clint sighed, each step sent shocks up his legs, and his hand gripped Bruce’s shirt for assurance that everything was real. “Yeah” he lied “a bit.” They set him down on a couch and Bruce sat by him, putting his head in his lap, so he could keep an eye on him.

“I’ll get the others” Tony said once they settled and began to walk back. Everything was so quiet now, that even from a distance, he could hear Bruce whisper.

“You don’t have to lie.” Tony was glad that Legolas had been put with Bruce. Bruce needed someone to care for, and Clint needed the care he so often deprived himself of out of pride. He spared a glance at his single cell. It was for one, but it was the most spacious, the white paint on the walls seemed harsher than the others, making it look bigger still, and he wondered if Fury thought that letting him stew in his own thoughts ever night would be the fastest way to make him crazy. He figured that it probably was.

“Stark” Natasha said as he made it to the door. “Took you long enough” the harshness of the words leaned more towards exhaustion but Tony decided to ignore it. “You need to carry me, Steve can’t walk.”

“Sorry” he smirked but walked in as Thor helped Steve lean on him “I was admiring the sights.” He said and leaned down to pick her up. He struggled more than Thor would, but could manage. They walked out slowly; Steve’s hopping was the only sound in the halls. He looked at the super solider “Glad to have you back, Cap.” He smiled at him but Steve kept his head down. He helped Natasha onto the smallest couch and Steve and Thor squeezed into the couch by Bruce so he could look at his leg. Tony watched them, how carefully Thor handled Steve and Natasha, or how Clint and Bruce never seemed to separate for long, and his irritation grew. He didn’t know how it happened, or when he took the necessary steps to Steve, he just registered the heat in his palm and the satisfaction as his palm met Steve’s cheek. “Stop feeling fucking bad for yourself” he said and gripped his collar. “You’re the leader; you need to get us out of here!” The words were empty. Steve had no bigger responsibility to get them out of here than any of them did and he knew that, but it felt better as he watched the words cut into the solider and break him, just a bit more. Perhaps he was going crazy.   
  
Thor pushed him back, not particularly hard but it made Tony take a step back. "Stop it!" he hissed at him. "He's been through enough lately, we all have." he looked around at his friends. "No sense of fighting among ourselves." His hand was wrapped around Steve's wrist protectively and he felt it relax in his hand. Tony huffed and stormed off, going to pace by the doors.

He felt all eyes on him, the cameras above his head, and the eyes of his teammates but he refused to look at either. He turned to the door and a familiar face caught his eyes. He felt his blood turn cold as he recognized the curious green eyes and he pressed his face closer to the plastic windows for a better look. "Reindeer Games?" he asked and seeing the man take a step closer, his eyes filled with the same confusion he felt, he banged on the door. "Reindeer Games!" A woman came from nowhere and she grabbed Loki's arm and smiled at him before beginning to tug him away. He was being kept here too. "No! Loki!" he yelled as loud as he could as he heard the others move towards him but he kept banging on the metal door, until his fist on the thick metal sounded like bells in his ears. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is going to get a lot more graphic, but since I hadn't put up enough trigger warning on my story I decided to not go too much into detail this time. The last (third) section has things that may be triggering.

Despite his efforts, Loki had repeated the names of the patients of Ward M in his head over and over. He had gone to his empty apartment that night and just lay in bed thinking about strange looking ward. His apartment was still empty, just boxes of his clothes and some books he didn’t remember reading. The neighborhood was quiet enough and the few people he had seen looked friendly. When he woke the next morning, he bolted up from a nightmare he couldn’t recall and got dressed for work.

The day was slow and even as he dealt with more and more patients he couldn’t get his mind off of the names Fury had given him. Feeling like no one wanted him to know what was there drove him towards it, and he slipped out of the ward he was working in to go take another look at it. He did not expect one of the patients to come in front of the door. It was logical though, common hours allowed the patients to walk around and if one wanted to walk near the door, no one would stop them.

Still, he did not expect the man to look the way he did. He was a bit older than Loki but attractive, his eyes were sharp and focused on the ground, even in their anger. He walked back and forth and Loki took a step closer to see him better. He felt the air rush out of his lungs as the man turned to him and a look of recognition washed over his face. The man said something, more to himself than to Loki, then he said it again, banging his fist on the door, and Loki wanted to get closer to hear him. He moved to take another step. “Stop!” he heard a shrill voice and someone grabbed his arm. She smiled at him, like he had made some kind of mistake. “Don’t encourage him, dear” she said and began to pull him away. He turned his head back to the man for a last time and swore that the man was saying his name.

“Who is he?” He asked her, tugging his arm out of her hand once they were in another hall, not liking how she was handling him.

“Was” she corrected him, her face still holding that fake smile from before. “He was Tony Stark, an engineer for a weapon’s company.” She told him and looked at her pager as it buzzed but didn’t move from in front of Loki. She pocketed the pager again and looked at him. “He’s one of the more unstable cases, so don’t let him startle you.” He furrowed his brow.

“He didn’t, I was just curious.” He stood tall, looking down at the woman with distaste. She kept the fake smile and it irritated him even more.

“Curiosity isn’t good in this job.” She told him. “Neither is leaving your post.” she tilted her head to the side with a condescending smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” She promised. “But you’d better go back.” He squared his jaw, knowing he was in her hands.

“Thank you.” He managed and began to walk down the hall towards his own ward. As he took the turn onto another hall, he could see her still watching him.

* * *

 

It took both Thor and Bruce to grab Tony and pull him back to the couch. “It was him!” He yelled at them as he saw the disbelief in their eyes when they looked at the empty hallway “He was there!” He looked helplessly between the two.

“You’re losing it, Stark.” Clint said from the couch. “Loki is in Asgard.”

Thor nodded and kept a hand on Tony’s shoulder to make sure he stayed pinned to the couch. “Clint is right.” He said “my father said that Loki would spend the rest of his life in the dungeons of Asgard.”

Tony looked at all of them. “I know what I saw” he said and pushed the hand off him. “He was there, in a nurse uniform.” He told them. “He looked at me like he’d never seen me before.” He fixed his eyes on Natasha. “What if he’s being kept here too?” he asked her.

They all looked at her and she sighed, tilting her head back to rest on the couch. “…I think you’re going crazy, Stark.” She hummed “Not that you weren’t crazy before.” Tony grit his teeth and opened his mouth to yell at her when she spoke again. “But we’ll know for sure if they take you to therapy.” She said a bit softer and he stilled. She was right, if he had seen something and he would go to therapy. The rest of them stayed quiet and sat down. Eventually, Clint got his hands on the remote and he turned it on. Sometimes a show would play - something mind-numbing that would remind them that the world was going on without them. Today, it seemed SHIELD was mad at them and they got static. Clint left it on anyway and none of them moved to turn it off.

“Tony Stark, return to your room” Tony heard his name on the speakers but he didn’t move. They repeated his name and he pushed himself up from the couch and began to walk down the hall.

“Told you.” He called back to them as he walked towards his room; he felt like the walk was a lot shorter than it had felt this morning. Their therapies were different from each other so he knew he wouldn’t get to retain his pride with a muzzle or a private room to hold back his sounds.

* * *

 

“We have to do something.” Bruce said, wincing at each scream that came from the closed door. Collectively, they hated Tony’s punishments the most because they heard every second of it. It had been an hour of beating, and he knew something else was to come soon, it always did. He worried his bottom lip and covered his ears as the screams of pain became sobs and they could hear the muffled sound of Tony’s voice begging them to stop. Clint put a hand on his arm gently in an attempt to comfort but it did very little.

Natasha reached over to Clint and he gave her his hand to hold, trying to look like he was focusing on Bruce as she traced letters into his palm. He pulled his hand back when she finished and just comforted Bruce. “We need to go back to our cell” he said to the cameras. “He’s stressed out.” When he heard no reply, Thor stood to help them walk over. They kept their heads down as they passed Tony’s room, they could hear him, and the grunts of what they assumed to be guards, but there was nothing they could. Thor helped Clint sit down but Clint didn’t let go of his arm. “You need to think of a reason why Odin would give Loki back to SHIELD.” He said and let him go. Thor frowned but nodded and left before they could get suspicious.

Bruce sat next to Clint once they closed their door to block out the noise. He pulled the thin hospital sheet around his shoulders, looking small. “Didn’t mean to separate you from the others.” He said quietly. “I just couldn’t be there anymore.” Clint nodded and sat back.

“Don’t worry about it” he said and put an arm around him carefully, his affection was awkward but he figured Bruce appreciated it since the man pressed a bit closer, looking fragile. “We’ll get out of here.” He said and repeated it until he felt Bruce stop shaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please review, I really use reviews and questions to advance the way the story goes and it helps me write faster.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Odin makes an appearance. Before anyone asks, yessss, Loki will have contact with the Avengers soon. Review!

“Tony?” Bruce came in quietly once they were gone. Clint limped behind him, cradling a paper bag in the nook of his bad arm while he used the other to stay up against the door of the room. Tony lay on the bed, the thin hospital pants had been pulled down and there were new bruises and cuts covering his legs. Bruce flinched but moved forward and began to clean him, trying to look at him as a patient rather than his friend. Even unconscious, Tony let out a soft, pained groan as Bruce closed his legs, his body was stiff and aching from the abuse and it showed.   
  
“They took him from the front today.” Clint noted as he saw the smaller bruises on the back of his legs and walked over slowly to sit by him and helped Bruce clean his stomach. “Why don’t you let him wake up and do it himself?” he asked him, not complaining just curious.

Bruce cleaned the cuts slowly. “You were gone a little longer than us.” He told him “it just… it makes it easier for him to pretend it didn’t happen.” He bandaged the worst cuts and they helped him look as normal as he possibly could in the hospital clothes. They shifted him on the bed and waited until it he began to wake up.

“Hey” Clint said and put the paper bag on his chest. “We got you your in-flight meal.” He smiled gently and they watched Tony sit up, neither bothering to offer their help because they knew he would refuse it. He managed to sit up, the strain on his thighs and backside was the main reminder of what happened. He tore into the bag as he kept his eyes on the ground.

“Did you guys see him?” he asked them. “Loki, I mean.” Tony’s eyes stayed trained on the ground as Bruce and Clint exchanged a look.

“No” Clint said honestly. “I think they’re probably making sure he won’t pass by here if he doesn’t know us.” He told him. Tony glanced at him, looking at him for a second before looking back at his sad looking sandwich.

“He’s smart, we know that. He’ll come back to see us.” He was certain of it. The man was too curious, too hyper aware that he knew Tony. Loki would be their way out, and their way back to the way things were before. “He’ll get us out.” He muttered to himself. 

* * *

 

The walls of his apartment were beige. His sheets were beige; even his floors were a darker shade of the same beige that seemed to cover every god-forsaken inch of his tiny apartment. Loki milled around restlessly in his room every night, picking up each book that had been carefully placed in his shelf and then chucking it into the garbage bin, the stories feeling dry and uninteresting. The music on his phone was too loud for him, too fast and confusing, and everything in his closet seemed like an ill-fit.

Work was the only thing that got his mind off his crumbling life. He hardly cared for the patients he got, transferring from one ward to the next as they needed him, but it seemed curious that every time they moved him it was further and further from Ward M, which now had guards at its rusted entrance.

It didn’t take more than a month before he was in Fury’s office again. “I want to transfer wards.” He said and the man frowned at him. The scars he had seen on him in the first day were gone, better covered up Loki assumed.

“Where to?” he asked him and got out the list of wards so he could change it on Loki’s roster. Loki leaned over to look at it, almost as if contemplating where he wanted to be.

“Ward M.” he said “I feel like I’m babysitting.” He told Fury. “I applied to this job so that I could make a difference in the lives of patients.” He lied, not really knowing why he applied to some place like this “I just don’t feel like I’m doing that and I’m wondering if this is the right job for me.” Loki looked him in the eyes, the threat of him quitting hanging in the air. He wasn’t sure if it was because the hospital was understaffed, or people just didn’t want to work in a loony bin, but he knew Fury wanted him there. 

Fury gripped his clipboard. “You wouldn’t know what to do with those patients; you’d need to be trained” He told him “and we don’t have the time for that.” Loki gave him a pleasant smile. 

“I’m a quick learner.” He said “besides there should be other nurses in there that I can use for guidance.” Fury grit his teeth.

“Fine.” He said finally. “Give me a few days to do the transfer.” Loki blinked.

“Fine?” he asked, not thinking that it would be that easy.

“Are you deaf or something?” Fury asked. “I said fine. I’ll page you when you can transfer over.” He looked over to the door. “You can go.”

* * *

 

Fury waited until he left and sighed. He walked over to the mirror behind his door and took out the contact from his bad eye, and grabbed his patch, slipping it on and leaned back in his seat as he thought. He made a few plans of things to change in the ward before Loki went in there and waited for his visitor.

It didn’t take long before Odin stepped out of the shadows of his office. “What news do you have for me of my sons?” he asked as he sat down in the chair that Loki had been in.

“Thor is working the way you wanted.” He said and turned on the screen to watch the ward. “He and Stark don’t leave the door unless they’re in their rooms.” Odin nodded.

“I don’t care for the mortal.” He reminded Fury. “Dangling Loki in front of Thor should be enough. Thor’s love for Loki should be more than enough to make him question where his loyalties should lie.” He said. “If he believes he can get his brother back by allying himself to you and turning against his friends, he will.” Fury nodded and watched him as he stood.

“I don’t like locking them up.” He told Odin. “I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think I had another choice.” Odin looked at him again.

“The lives of a few mortals is a small price to pay for the protection that Asgard will give you.” He assured him “when I have my sons back, Loki’s head cleared, and Thor’s heart back in Asgard and ready to become king, I give you my oath that no harm will come to Midgard.” Fury nodded. “Believe me, director; you are picking the less of the two evils.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! Liked it? Didn't like it? Is it too slow (sometimes it feels a bit slow for me, idk.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warning: rape* I feel awful that I really like torturing Tony.

_“Tony!” Pepper screamed and tried to run to him as SHIELD hands wrapped around his arms and pulled him back towards a car. He struggled against them as they held her as well. “Tony!” she cried again and he managed to kick one of the men holding him before he got punched in the stomach and felt the cuffs snap around his wrists._

_Taking a painful gasp for breath, he watched as an agent hit the back of her head with the butt of his gun and heard the thud as her body hit the ground as they pulled a black hood over his face._

Tony woke up in a cold sweat, his sheets soaked through and his clothes sticking to his body. The dark that had become so comfortable in the last few weeks was gone and he looked to the open door of his cell. He stood carefully, his body protesting every step. His last punishment had been gentler somehow, with no cuts and smaller bruises that were almost gone now, but they had kept him awake the whole time. He had to bite down the bile every time he was forced to come over his stomach, fucked until his body had stopped listening to him.

He took slow steps towards Bruce and Clint’s room and saw them already awake. “Hey” Clint said as Bruce helped him stand, still weak from the medicine. “No alarm this morning.” Tony nodded, seeing that the man's split lip was healing up as well. He knew that Bruce’s sides were bruised to almost deformity but now, with their clothes on, they looked like almost normal patients.

“Maybe they forgot.” He hummed. “I’ll get the other three, can you manage?” Bruce nodded.

“Yeah, we’re okay.” He said, his movements as stiff and awkward as Tony’s, but they held onto each other as they began to walk out. He hated watching them, becoming more and more disgusted at his own jealousy as he moved towards the last room. His lips curled up in anger as he looked in. 

The three beds were lined up together and the three ex-avengers lay curled up in the makeshift bed. Thor was pressed up to Steve’s back, his face buried in the now shaggy blonde hair and arm hung loosely around his waist. Natasha was curled into Steve’s chest, their arms tucked between them and their legs tangled lightly. All their covers overlapped over each of them and in the light, Tony could see the damaged floor, where the beds had been repeatedly pulled and pushed back into place. “Hey” he barked at them and felt satisfied as he saw them startle awake. “It’s morning.” He didn’t wait for their reply, just turning to walk back to the common area.

He looked at Clint and Bruce, curled up in their regular position of Clin't head in Bruce's lap, and felt disgust again as Bruce carded his fingers though his hair. He sat down and flinched as the large steel doors opened and guards walked in. “What the hell?” he hissed at them. “I haven’t done anything!” he scrambled back on the couch, recognizing two of them from his increasingly regular punishments. He didn’t miss their smirk as they glanced at him but they didn’t move, standing at their positions. He looked at Bruce and Clint, their faces showing a similar fear. Things were changing again. 

* * *

There was the dim sound of a TV as Loki approached the ward. He felt the card key in his pocket, his fingers running over the smooth edges as he walked down the empty hall. He took a breath before swiping it over the sensor and pushed the door in.

“Brother!” he heard a forced voice and looked over at a large blonde man. In another life, Loki thought, the man may have commanded attention, but now he looked like an empty husk of a person. His eyes were dull and his body slumped against another man’s as if he needed to be held up. “Loki?” he said and Loki frowned.

“How do you know my name?” he asked and one of the guards snorted.

“It’s on your name tag.” He said, as if Loki was stupid. “They’ve made up stories about you since we told them you were coming.” He added.

“Stop lying!” The blonde man hissed. “He’s my brother! A prince of Asgard.” He looked at Loki’s face desperately, searching for something that Loki didn’t have.

“You stop it.” Another guard said and hit the man in the stomach with a thick nightstick. “You’ll scare him.” Loki flinched at the blonde man’s grunt of pain and went to him.

“This is how you treat patients?” he hissed, glaring at the guard, and pat the large man’s back as he tried to breathe. The guard smirked at him.

“You’ll learn fast. This is how we do things in this ward. Don’t like it, transfer out.” He said and returned to his position with the others. Loki crouched by the man and watched the man’s breathing return to normal.

“What’s your name?” Loki asked curiously, ignoring the cautious eyes of the other patients and the missing pair of brown eyes that had begun to haunt his memories.

“Thor.” He said breathlessly. “Thor Odinson.” That made sense. Thor and Loki were names from legend; it would be easy for Thor to believe they were brothers in his sick mind, even if they looked nothing alike. “Loki, you don’t remember me?” he asked him and saw the man was close to tears. He saw the other blonde man’s hold tighten on Thor’s arm, as if trying to protect Thor from Loki’s mere presence.

 “I’m sorry, I don’t.” Loki said and stood. “But you are welcome to try to remind me.” He said and stood, going to check on each of them. He saw them all tense as his hands passed over them, even as he bandaged the ones that were worse for wear. 

“No, don’t.” Clint hissed as Loki got to him and pressed closer to Bruce. “Not you.” He looked away from Loki.

“He’s okay, just drugged.” Bruce said. “You two don’t have the best past.” He said, even though Clint’s fingers dug into his arms, knowing that if the other had nails them would have pierced through his skin. Loki frowned but stood.

“They’re in terrible shape.” He glared at the guards. “Does Fury know you’re doing this?” he demanded and the guards smirked at each other.

“It’s a necessary evil.” One replied. “It keeps them calm and from fighting and hurting themselves and each other.” Loki was about to argue when a door of one of the rooms was ripped open and Tony ran out.

“No!” Tony yelled as he was caught around the waist. He saw Loki and elbowed the man’s face, creating a sickening crack on impact, but the arms wouldn’t let go and another man came and hit him in the back of the head. Loki’s eyes widened as they began to drag him back into the room and he ran to them but a guard stopped him.

“You can play nurse with the other ones.” He said with a sneer. “This one is a special case. He’ll be let out when he stops misbehaving.” He smirked and stood at the door until Loki walked back to the others. Their faces were dark, looking down with some kind of sick knowledge that Loki didn’t have.

* * *

Tony was thankful when one held him down from behind, a knee pressing down on his legs, holding them closed as he was forced on his knees, hoping that meant they wouldn't take him from behind today. “Why do you have to make things difficult for us, Stark?” the one behind him asked, his hands keeping Tony’s shoulders squared forward so he couldn’t move. “You realize that just means that things will be worse for you right?” The guard that stood in front of Tony laughed and got down on his knees, his crotch at Tony’s face making it clear what was about to happen even before he began to undo his pants.

“Clearly he doesn’t.” he said and began to stroke himself as he smirked at the other man. “Better for us, right?” Tony struggled but knew he wouldn’t get far and winced as the man’s strong hand forced his mouth open, his thumb and fingers gripping his jaw until he felt it begin to bruise and open. The cock in front of him was shoved into his mouth hard and fast until Tony’s nose was buried in the patch of hair that peeked out from the man’s undone zipper. “You’re getting better at this, Stark.” The man above him chuckled, fucking his face with a hand holding the back of his head in place. “You’re hardly gagging anymore.” Tony closed his eyes, the words cutting deeper than what was happening and felt his stomach turn as the man’s pants go louder.

“He really is getting good isn’t he?” the man behind him asked and Tony whimpered as a hand came around his waist and forced itself into his pants. “You’re starting to like this, aren’t you Stark?” he demanded in his ear as he began to stroke him. “You like being taken like this, like a bitch.” The strokes were hard and painful but Tony felt tears burn hot down his cheeks as his body responded. He felt the man behind him begin to grind against his ass and whimpered as his mouth was filled with the bitter taste of come. He knew the man above him was close, the hand behind his head was almost ripping at his hair and the thrusts became more erratic. “Hurry up.” The man behind him urged, his voice dark with lust, and he was almost thrusting his clothed erection against Tony’s ass and stroking him with each hit.

Tony gasped and gagged as the man gave a last thrust, forcing himself into the back of Tony’s throat as he came. ”Fuck” he almost purred as Tony was forced to swallow. “So good.” He hummed and pulled out. He tucked himself back in as Tony wheezed, spit and come dripping from his lips as his head hung down, his eyes closed as tears crawled down his cheeks.

“Stop it.” Tony begged as he always did but it fell on deaf ears as he felt the front of his body being pushed down, his cheek pressed to the soft rug and his arms held down by the hands that had been in his hair a few minutes ago. “Stop please.” He said a bit louder as his pants were shoved down and he heard another zipper come undone.

“I don’t think you want us to, Stark.” The man behind him sneered and gripped Tony’s length hard, making him cry out. “You want to come too. You enjoy this.” He said and didn’t even give him time before he pressed in hard. Tony screamed but it was cut off by shoving his face down onto the ground. “Still not used to it, Stark?” The man breathed and pulled out an inch before shoving in again, forcing Tony open slowly. Tony closed his eyes tight as his legs were held tight, nails digging into his thighs, the bitter taste of come still on his tongue. The more the man pounded into him, the more his cock hardened and his breath came out harder between each howl of pain. Minutes dragged on like hours and Tony felt himself close to the edge of passing out, only the sharp pain in his ass bringing him back. He felt the hand wrap around his length again and a pathetic moan escaped him, his stomach knotting in forced pleasure. “Come for me, Stark.” The man hissed and pounded harder into him until Tony felt his body give up, coming painfully, his scream muffled by the rug. “Oh yeah” the man hissed and it didn’t take long before he was filled, his legs about to give at each hard thrust.

Tony felt his mind go numb before his body hit the ground, vaguely seeing and hearing the men move around to clean themselves before cleaning him, wiping off his stomach and cock, and pulling new pants on him before standing, leaving him on the ground. “Good job” one smirked and nudged his side with his foot. “Can’t wait for next time.” He said and walked out, locking the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Review, please!


	6. Chapter 6

“Tony?" Bruce came in by himself and Tony was thankful that Clint wasn’t there to make him feel worse about how fucking alone he felt. “Tony... he came in, Loki, I mean.” He felt Bruce sit down by him as he closed his eyes. “You were right; he doesn’t seem to remember anything.”

“Of course I was.” He said, trying his best to sound unimpressed but the words came out too soft to carry any real heat. “I figure that telling him things had no effect?” He opened his eyes just to see Bruce shake his head. “Figures.” He sighed and closed his eyes again, just wanting this nightmare to melt away and wake up next to Pepper. “Is he still out there?” he asked.

“No” he said “the guards made him go to lunch a few minutes ago. He promised to be back in an hour.” Tony opened his eyes to raise an eyebrow. “I know,” Bruce said to the confused look on his face “he’s… strangely nice and careful with everyone.” He sighed “Thor says that it reminds him of the Loki before everything happened, when he used to help the healers tend to the soldiers in Asgard.”

Tony’s hands came up to his face, pressing the flat of his palm into his eyes. “I don’t care about what he used to be or how nice he is.” He said, frustrated “I just care that he’s our way out of here.” He told him and sat up slowly. “We just have to figure out how to bring him out again or get him to let us out.” He stood, pulling himself up with the frame of the bed. “Remind him of the psycho murderer he used to be.” He muttered and walked back to the others, ignoring the other’s offer for help.

He sat down, enjoying the few seconds of peace before one of the other nurses came by to them, forcing pills into their throats. “Be gentle.” He purred at one with a defiant smirk, before he grabbed Tony's jaw, forcing it open and pushed two pills into his mouth, pushing them down with his slender fingers. Tony gagged but swallowed it down. “Two?” he coughed. “Why?” he hissed when he got his breath back.

“Shut up, Stark. It’s your new meds.” The man said as he moved onto Steve, jabbing his leg with a needle. “You’ll feel the effects in a bit.”

* * *

 

Loki stared at the clock, wanting to force the hands to move quicker, so he could go back to the ward. His food was barely touched but he couldn’t eat, his mind running over the things that they had said to him and what he had seen of them. He couldn’t get his mind off Stark and Thor. Even if he was delusional, seeing him should not have evoked as much of the raw emotion that Loki saw in the blonde’s eyes. He stood the second his lunch was over, tossing his uneaten lunch into the garbage and sprinted back. 

Everything was the same at first glance; Thor looked at him with the same sad eyes, Steve holding onto him, Clint and Bruce were still pressed close and Natasha was stretched out on her small couch, but something was off. Loki’s eyes went to the mop of brown hair, barely visible from his position at the door, and he walked closer. “Stark, right?” he asked as he got closer but there was no reply and Loki crouched down to look at him, immediately taken by how empty the man’s eyes looked. His head hung to the side, not being able to keep it up and he blinked slowly.

“He can’t hear you.” Bruce said softly and Loki looked at him, noticing a glazed look on his eyes, but still able to function. He looked around at all of them, who had the same look; Clint seemed to have it the worst, his head twitching to stay up as Bruce stroked his hair slowly, occasionally dabbing at the edge of his mouth, as he drooled. “They put him on… new medication, if you can call it that.” He said slowly as if he had to pick out every word.

“What do you mean?” Loki asked and began to move Tony so he would at least be more comfortable.

Bruce frowned, the medication making him struggle to put his thoughts together.”Uhm… they pump him with enough sedatives… to-to have him like that. It's probably enough to kill him.” He said “but they use a variation of a medication that I invented to keep his heart beating.” He explained. “Listen to his heart.” He said. “It shouldn’t be more than a few beats per minute.” He looked at Loki expectantly.

Loki looked at him, knowing he shouldn’t encourage their delusions but Bruce struggled so hard to say it that Loki’s curiosity got the best of him. “You were a scientist?” he asked, remembering that it had mentioned something like that in Bruce's file, and pressed his ear to Tony’s chest. He blinked as he felt warm metal whirring softly in Tony's chest.

“And a doctor.” Bruce breathed. “...Listen past the buzzing.” He said and Loki closed his eyes and heard a hard thump of a heartbeat and waited for the next, he counted almost twenty seconds before it beat again and he looked at Bruce, his eyes wide. “Told you.” He smiled a bit sadly, opening his mouth to say something else but the words wouldn't come. “Sorry…” he mumbled, looking down at Clint “…it’s starting to…get hard to think.”

Loki looked at them all, wanting to understand what was happening, why they were all like this all of a sudden. He tensed as he felt a strong calloused hand wrap around his but didn’t look at Tony as he felt the man’s thumb run over his palm in the shape of a P. Loki kept looking around at the others, keeping track of the letters that were slowly drawn on his palm.

P-E-P-P-E-R-P-O-T-T-S

He felt Tony’s hand drop slowly and he stood to check on Natasha. He had felt her eyes on him and he began to shift her as well and leaned down, his hair covering her face as he moved her pillow around gently. Her voice couldn’t even be described as a whisper as he strained to listen. “You’re being watched.” He finished moving her pillow and he went around to help the others before settling down in a chair by the guards to just watch them, his mind running over Natasha’s warning and what Tony had written on his hand. 

He wouldn't be back for two days, and he wondered in what situation he would find them in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liked it? Hated it? Questions? Leave me a review. Tony won't remain that drugged for too long, I promise. Though the torture for him with continue, sorry.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of trigger warnings in this chapter

Loki was being paranoid, or at least that’s what he told himself. Even in his own house he had taken to trying to act normal, reading the books that he had around the house as he reminded himself that he was listening to the ramblings of a crazy person.

The day before he returned to work, he left his house and made his way to the library. If he was being watched, this would be the easiest place to hide. He made his way through the stacks, staring at the small paper in his hand with the jumble of letters that Tony had traced on his hand. A tall boy looked over his shoulder “There is supposed to be a space there.” He said and pointed between the R and P. Pepper Potts. Loki tensed at his closeness but then relaxed when he saw the library employee tag around his neck. “Good lady.” The boy said and got closer to him “too bad she died in that plane crash.” He said and bent his head down close to Loki’s ear. “There’s a big guy in a brown coat following you.” He said softly and grabbed a random book and gave it to Loki. “I’ll walk you to the front.” He said, pushing the book into his hands.

Loki nodded mutely and followed him, trying to look natural. “Was he close enough to hear you?” he asked, flipping through the pages of the book, and the boy shook his head. “Thank you.” He said and gave him his library card once they reached the desk.

“Spell your last name, please?” the boy asked, just trying to stall so the man would wander away a bit and Loki could get out.

“Uhm Adrian? A-d-r-a-i-n.” he said slowly as if it was the first time he had spelled it out “sorry, i-a.” The boy gave him a strange look at his slip but figured that Loki was just scared.

“Here you go.” He said and handed him the book and Loki walked out quickly, trying to convince himself that maybe the boy was wrong as he hailed a cab to take him back home.

* * *

The two days dragged on slowly and Tony passed them in a mindless daze, drugged enough that he barely felt himself being dragged back to his room every afternoon by his guards and abused until he passed out.

He would wake up long enough to get force fed by Bruce; pieces of dry bread and water being forced down his throat into his arching stomach, and then would pass out again until the night rounds began. “This isn’t as fun when he’s like this.” One of the guards muttered as they cleaned him up, thinking he as passed out again, and they dragged him up onto his bed.

“I know, but it’s just until tomorrow, Fury says if we go too far on Stark’s doses, Loki will start to suspect something is off.” The first guard sighed. “This is just to make sure Stark understands what will happen to him if he tries to say anything. Never know what could jog the ice-princess’ memory.”

* * *

Steve woke up first; his body warm with Natasha curled up into his chest and reveled as he felt Thor’s arm tighten around his waist as he shifted, the light from the hall filling their room as the door opened. The larger man took slow deep breathes as he began to wake up and yawned, making Steve laughed. “Right in my ear.” He half complained but turned his head to look at Thor as the man smiled, his eyes still bleary from sleep.

“Forgive me” he chuckled softly, his voice much softer than Steve remembered it but it sounded better than when they had first arrived to this prison. “I thought you’d still be asleep.” He began to move his arm away but Steve caught it, holding Thor’s arm to his chest, not meeting his eyes.

“I don’t want to move yet.” He said quietly and looked down at Natasha, who hadn’t moved at all but Steve doubted she was still sleeping. “And Natasha’s still asleep.” He held onto him a bit tighter, not liking how slack Thor’s arm was around him.

Thor stared at the back of Steve’s head and smiled as he felt his hand tighten around him. “Alright.” He said and held him a bit closer. “Until the others wake up then.” He told him and Steve nodded. He relaxed as Thor’s arm tightened around him and felt him press closer and bury his nose in Steve’s hair, the smell of generic shampoo surrounding them as they enjoyed the silence and warmth. “…do you think everything will be okay?” Thor asked, after a while “That we’ll get to go back to our normal lives someday?” He felt Steve’s hand rest on his arm.

“I learned something after I got out of the ice” he sighed “When locked away from reality… the world goes on without you.” He turned in his arms and looked up at him. “That world that we knew, the people that we were in it are dead.” He said and pressed closer to him when he saw how hopeless Thor looked. “But we’re not going through it alone.” He said “I was alone in the ice, but this… you have all of us with you.” He stared into his eyes. “Especially me.” He smiled.

Thor held onto him and pulled him a bit closer and sighed. “Thank you.” He breathed and rested his forehead on Steve’s until they heard the movement in the hall. “…we should go out. Loki will be here soon.” Steve smiled and nodded.

“You go wait for your brother, I’ll get Natasha up.” He said as Thor’s arm slipped off his waist. He watched him go before sighing. “You know it’s rude to listen into other’s conversations.” He said as he turned to her. A laugh escaped her and he frowned as it escalated until she was shaking with laughter.

“I’m sorry.” She laughed “it’s just… you two, I wouldn’t have guessed it.” She smiled. “It’s the first good thing that’s happened in here.” She sat up slowly with his help.

“Nothing is happening.” He said “we’re prisoners, we’re friends, and we both need the…”

“Affection?” she finished and held onto his arm as they began to go outside. “You do have a habit of forming attachments in the middle of war, and this is war Steve.” She gave him a hard look. “You know it just as much as I do, something is coming.” He nodded slowly. “…be with him, if you can.” His head snapped to her and they stopped walking.

“Don’t joke.” He said sternly.

“I mean it.” She said seriously, meeting his frown easily. “We’re what’s keeping us sane, how long do you think before they begin to split us up or pit us against each other?” they began to walk again. “Whatever ties we have, it’s time to make them stronger.” She breathed, barely moving her lips because of the camera. He kept his eyes on Thor, who waited at the door for Loki and nodded. He left her on her couch and walked over to the man, wrapping his hand around the man’s arm. Thor looked at him, surprised, and Steve smiled at him.

“I told you, we’re here together.” He said softly, his chest hurting with guilt as Thor beamed at him.

* * *

"Morning." Loki smiled as he came in with their food and began to hand out the trays, checking them to make sure they were all okay. Clint still watched him carefully as Bruce accepted their food.

"Tony...the room." he slurred and Loki nodded and held the tray close as he walked to the room. He heard a heavy footsteps behind him as he went into the room and looked at the man. He was slumped in on himself, holding his knees to his chest as his eyes were closed in thought but there was that same exhaustion in his face that he had seen last time. Loki knocked gently and his eyes snapped open. 

"I brought you your food." he said and crouched down by him. "come on." he said and grabbed his hand, putting the apple on the tray in his hand, and moved it to his mouth, tracing his finger over the back of Tony's hand. 

D-E-A-D

He watched the man carefully as he looked at him and let go of his hand. It was like watching a car crash in milliseconds and he felt the air go out of his lungs as he was kicked in the chest and he flew back and hit the wall. "Don't touch me!" he screamed. "Don't touch me!" he lunged for the guard, who was scrambling to get something out of his pockets. Tony brought his down to the ground and Loki watched as the man cried as he punched in the man's face, each punch accompanied with a wet crack until the man held under Tony stopped moving, save for the occasional twitch. Loki's head spun from where he had hit the wall but he watched two guards pull Tony off the man and hold a knife to his neck as they dragged the probably dead guard out. 

He wondered if he imagined or saw Tony smile before his hand his hand came up and grabbed the hilt of the knife and pulled it, pressing it into his own neck before the guards could pull it away. He watched the blood soak the man's hospital clothes before the darkness finally took him and he lay cold on the ground. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, people seem to either really enjoy me torturing Tony or feel bad for him, so a little bit of both for the next chapter. Review if you liked it!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As always, trigger warnings. Yes, Tony's alive but things are going to be changing in the ward.

"You were correct in not letting this one die." Tony heard over the sound of his slow heart monitor. He didn't recognize the voice but it was old and slow, every word calculated and worked over and over. "He has to come to us out of his own will, otherwise I would have had you kill this one and the others a long ago." It was hard to hear as more guards walked around him, his eyes still closed in fake sleep but Tony strained to listen and keep his heart rate down.

"Stark killed Thomas. We can't even bury him properly with his face broken in like that." A different voice grit out and Tony recognized him as one of his regulars. "Sir, you can't pardon that-."

"I don't" Fury said clearly "but keeping them drugged or unconscious isn't going to speed this up." he sighed and Tony felt himself slipping again. "Loki's memories will hold out in the meantime. He doesn't suspect anything yet. This little stunt should just prove to him that they are all crazy, he'll just pull away."

The first voice came back as Tony passed out again. "As long as they continue to remind him of who they think he used to be, the magic will hold." Odin said "What is important to Loki is very different than what is important to Thor. It's one of the things my son never understood about his brother."

"Then we'll keep Thor awake." Fury decided "As well as Barton, and Stark." he looked at the guard. "You know the drill for the other three." The guard nodded and grit his teeth, bracing himself to speak again.

"Sir, Coulson and Hill are still-" he froze as Fury glared at him.

"Out." He growled in a cold tone and the man's legs couldn't carry him out fast enough. Odin's eye followed Fury as he walked by Stark's bed.

"Nothing I have to worry about, I assume?" He hummed and Fury shook his head but Odin didn't miss the almost mournful look on the man's face.

"Just some loose ends." he said quietly and began to adjust the dials for Tony's medication.

* * *

"Loki," the woman sighed for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. "What did you see?"

Loki leveled her with his best uninterested stare. "I told you." he said "I didn't see anything." He lied and looked down in faux shame. "He was faster than me and I hit my head against the wall." His hand came up to touch his head and winced for good measure "I was out cold. I didn't see anything else."

She kept her eyes on him and when he didn't even bat an eyelash she looked down at her papers and wrote something down. "You understand why I'm cautious?" she asked and he nodded. "Because we don't want your fear of the patients to interfere with the way you do your job." she smiled at him. "They seem to like you, especially mister..." she looked at her papers. "Odinson. The guards say he behaves his best around you and the doctors are surprised with his progress."

"I suppose" he clenched his jaw, confused by the sudden wave of annoyance that washed over him.

"It would do him well if you helped him most." she smiled "he's the only one with the real potential to leave here someday." Loki snorted despite himself and looked apologetic when the woman raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry" he said "I just find it hard to believe that any of them have a possibility of leaving this hospital." Loki looked down at his hand "it feels a bit hopeless sometimes." He tried to look as sad as he could "But yes" he looked up at her."You're right, Thor is...special." he felt nauseous as he said it but kept up the hopeful smile.

She watched him for a few seconds and finally smiled as well. "I'm glad." she smiled and stood, stretching her hand out to him and he shook it firmly. "We still want you to take a few days off, paid break, of course."

He frowned at her. "I don't want a break" he said "I want to go back to work, I think that would be better than a break, if you're worried about my mental health." He wanted to throttle this woman for being difficult and was a bit stunned by his own reaction.

"I understand, Loki," she drawled and he grit his teeth at her condescending tone. "But rules are rules. You can come back on Friday, you can even work weekends if you want to make up for the time you missed." She gave a pointed look to the door. "You can walk yourself out."

Loki stood slowly and walked out, making his way by the ward and flinched as he watched Bruce on his knees, held down by two guard who forced his mouth open, pushing in medicine. He went in to speak but a guard grabbed his arm.

"Walk away." He warned. "It'll be easier for you if you pretend you never saw this." Loki took a step back and walked towards the exit, his head down in a fake defeat.

* * *

Clint was held down as they grabbed Bruce, and even with what little strength he had, he fought to get out, to do something to stop them. "Don't cry, Bruce." he urged as they held his mouth open, forcing pill after pill down his throat, pressing them in with thick fingers.

"Aw, he doesn't like it." One guard said as Bruce began to still, the new medication too much for him to handle. "Hawkeye doesn't like it when we touch his stuff." He grabbed Bruce's face in his hand. "He is cute, Barton, I'll give you that." He smirked at the others. "Isn't he cute, guys?" he hummed and they nodded, a few of them chuckling as Clint began to struggle more, his eyes full of panic. The man crouched down. "And he's well trained, too. Aren't you, Bruce? You're good, right?" he asked gently, stroking his cheek and Bruce nodded, no longer in his own mind.

"'M good." He breathed.

The guard smiled. "Yes, you are." he said. "You know, I think I'll take him." He picked Bruce up gently, grinning as the man buried his face in his neck. "He's sweet." He purred and stroked his hair as he began to carry him away to his room. "I'll tell you how he is later, Barton." He said over his shoulder.

Clint screamed. "No!" he said over and over and it took more men to hold him down. "Bruce! No!" he kept struggling and winced as he opened up the cut on his stomach but he didn't care and kept screaming until one of the guards hit him over the head.

The guard set Bruce down gently and began to undress him. "Who...are you?" Bruce breathed and began to frown as he felt cold. The guard smiled and touched his cheek again. "Clint." he whispered and undid his own trousers, stroking himself as he watched Bruce's face change from apprehension to happy.

"Really?" He breathed and opened his legs as the man spread them. He yelped as he was pulled close but relaxed again.

"Really." The guard assured him and lined up to him before pressing in hard. Bruce cried out but held onto him, his hands gripping his uniform tight. "It'll get good in a bit, trust me. Be good for me." he said and kissed his head.

Bruce was crying but he nodded as the man kept up the hard thrusts. "I trust you." he breathed and buried his face into his neck. "I trust you, Clint. I'll be good." He promised and kissed his neck softly, trying to please him. "Wanna be good enough for you." he breathed softly. "Am I good?" he asked.

The guard smiled. "So good." he breathed. "You're so good." he purred and kissed him deeply, grinning as Bruce relaxed under his touches, mewling at each thrust. Bruce was going to be the new crowd favorite, of that he would make sure himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked for raped Bruce, I delivered. Gotta say, this was my saddest scene to write. And of course the first thing Loki remembers is his dislike for Thor.


	9. Chapter 9

Loki tossed in his bed, he ached as he felt his body burning from the inside of his head out, the pain radiating out to his fingertips. He whimpered as he turned over again, his nails digging into his pillow as the sheets were soaked with his sweat.

"You're not my son!" Loki screamed as he sat up and he looked around in panic. The words echoed in his brain over and over as he stood. He walked to the kitchen and his hands shook as he poured himself a glass of water. He gripped the table, his legs threatening to give out under him as he sipped at it slowly.

It was his third night of having the same dream and he still reacted to it in the same way. He gripped the glass tight until he felt the white ceramic crack and looked down at his wet and bloodied hand like it wasn't even his. He blinked when the bloodied water dripped onto his lap and he moved. "Fuck." He hissed softly and stood, grabbing some paper towels and began to dab at the water on the table.

He went over to the sink and ran his hand under warm water and went to get the small first aid kit that was tucked behind his bathroom mirror. He was confused, more than he had been before. His head pounded as he wrapped his hand up and leaned his head back, looking up at the ceiling. "Fuck this." He hissed and hit the kit off the couch, not knowing what to do or why he felt the way he did. Why did he suddenly hate Thor; Thor, who had done nothing but tell him amusing stories of what he believed were their lives as brothers?

He rested his arm over his eyes, blocking out the little bit of light that came in through the window. He rested there, just letting his mind drift until his bedroom alarm began to ring and he stood for work.

He dressed slowly, not bothering to look for something that drew his eyes, having shifted though the piles of bland clothing a hundred times. He pulled something on and left, his mind swirling with questions the whole way to the hospital. He stumbled his way in, hiding his hand as he swiped his card in and walked past the guards.

He looked around the place, his heart pounding hard as he saw no one in their usual couches. "Where are they?" he demanded from the guards.

One snorted at him. "Calm down." he said "Stark came back. They're all in his room." He gave them a glare and walked towards the room and stopped outside the door where they couldn't see him.

"Someone is behind this." Tony's voice was soft, weak. "All I could hear was an old voice, deep, and heavy." he breathed and Loki's head ached as he remembered the voice from his dream. "He wanted... Someone." he said and was stopped as Clint put a hand on his arm.

"Someone's listening." He said and they looked to the door.

Loki bit his lip and came in. He looked around at them and frowned as he took them in. "What happened to them?" he asked and crouched by Steve and Natasha. Steve's head was pressed limply against Thor's chest and Natasha's head was on Tony's lap. He snapped in front of their eyes, wanting some reaction but they just smiled numbly.

"Meds." Tony said. "Like the shit they had me on, but Natasha is still weak from her beating two days ago and they always go overboard with Steve because they still don't know how fast his serum can get rid of the medication." Loki frowned and he reminded himself that the man was crazy, even though his eyes looked alert. The white bandages wrapped around his neck reminded Loki of his attempt.

"Right." He said quietly and helped Natasha off his legs and onto the bed. "Where did you say she was hurt?" he asked, figuring she must have hit herself in one of her tantrums the guards told him about.

"Her ribs." Tony said and forced himself onto his knees and lifted her shirt for him quickly, along with the bandages, covering her mouth as she cried out in pain as his knuckles pressed onto the fresh cuts. Loki's eyes widened at the deep scars on her side, raised from where they had healed and been reopened again and again. "Believe me now?" he breathed and pulled down her shirt and bandages down and slumped on the ground as guards came by.

Loki arranged her on the bed calmly. "Everything good?" A guard asked and came in to look around.

Loki kept his eyes on Natasha. "Everything's fine" Loki said evenly but as Tony glanced at him he saw a look he hadn't seen on the man since his attack on New York. The rage of a caged animal, confused and uncertain but still there.

Tony smiled and leaned his head back, catching Loki's eyes as the guards left. "Guess we're all trapped in our own way, aren't we?" He smiled and for a second Loki smiled back at him.

* * *

"We're just supposed to let him figure it out on his own then?" Clint demanded as Loki went off to lunch. "Do you know how long that would take?" he hissed and his arms tightened around Bruce, who leaned back on his chest. "Just talk to him until he starts to remember who he is? We don't have time for that!"

Tony sighed. "It's the only plan we've got." He reminded them. "And he's starting to remember... Or doubt, or something." he sighed. "That's our only hope right now."

Clint glared at him "That's not enough!" he screamed and Bruce whined his arms. "We need to escape, soon." he looked between the two of them, his eyes pleading.

Thor held his hand up to his mouth. "Someone's coming." He said and his arm tightened around Steve, trying his best to stand between him and whatever was coming for them.

Clint glared at the door and held Bruce close as two guards came in. "Grab him." The main guard said, pointing at Bruce, and Clint tried to kick at the guard that came close. "I don"t have time for this." The guard sighed and came over and gave Clint a hard kick, careful to avoid Bruce. He reached down for Bruce when Clint doubled over, gasping in pain. He clicked his tongue as Bruce struggled a bit in his arm. "Be a good boy for me." He said softly and Bruce stopped struggling, holding onto him tighter and settling into his chest.

"Yes, Clint." he breathed with a small smile and the man carried him away as the other guard held Clint down.

"No! No!" Clint screamed as he heard Bruce say his name and struggled under the guard, his arms held behind his back until the door of their connected room slammed shut. The guard above him shoved his face hard into the carpet and stood, walking out and locking them all in the room. He scrambled to his feet. "We have to go!" he screamed at them and threw himself against the door, grunting in pain as his side hit the cold metal but not stopping. "We have to get him."

He struggled as arms wrapped around him. "Legolas, Legolas, stop-" Tony struggled to keep him from charging against the door again "Clint!" he snapped and grabbed him by his shoulders. "He'll be okay." he said and tried to smile. "He's out of it. He thinks it's you... It'll be okay. He won't suffer much." Tony hissed as he was thrown to the ground.

"He's not you!" Clint screamed and even Steve flinched and whimpered as he buried his face into Thor's chest. "He won't be okay, and I won't lie to him! He's not alone anymore, I care about him! The only person insane enough to care about you is dead, Stark!" Regret filled his eyes as soon as he said it and looked down. "-I'm sorry." he breathed. "Fuck, I didn't mean-"

"Yeah, you did." Tony said as he stood. "I'll make this easy for you, Clint." he said and put his hand on the man's arm and gripped it hard before punching him across the face, Clint too weak and slow to stop him. He let the man drop and grabbed him, dragging him to lean against the wall. "You want the same thing that's happening to Bruce to happen to Steve?" He suddenly asked Thor harshly.

The blonde blinked "No, no, of course not." He held the smaller man closer and Steve sighed happily. Tony gave Thor a hard look and Thor saw how his eyes were hardened, violent.

"Then we do as I say." he told him. "You keep your mouth shut about your stories as kids. If that was going to work it would have already." he said and sat down across from them, looking at Thor intently. "Now, tell me anything and everything you know about your brother."

* * *

Thor was cradling Steve close as Loki came in, stroking his hair gently and trying to encourage him to eat, even though the other struggled to keep his head up. Tony did the same thing for Natasha, though she seemed to be having an easier time, the discomfort and pain cutting through the large amounts of medication probably pumping through her blood stream.

"Where is Clint and Bruce?" he asked and leaned down by Steve to help hold his head up so he could eat.

"Bruce got roughed up by the security guards," Tony sighed. "They let Clint in to look after him when Bruce began to cry mid-session." Loki blinked and felt his head throb again. He sat on the ground, cradling his head and whimpered as images of men dressed in golden armor held him down. He remembered the ache of his knees, the smell of the roses around them, and how they laughed when they left him. Thor frowned and leaned over to touch his arm.

"Brother-"

"Don't touch me, you oaf!" he hissed and pulled away. He cradled his head for a few seconds before looking at Thor again when the pain subsided. "Sorry" he breathed "sorry," he sighed. "I didn't mean it." Thor nodded but smiled a bit, making Loki look away. He stood and went to sit by Tony to help him with Natasha. "Stop looking at me." he muttered as he caught Tony's amused eyes.

"Alright." he said and looked down to hold Natasha's head up. "But you were more fun the last time we met... Well the last time you were the real you." he admitted.

Loki narrowed his eyes at him "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" he asked and Tony grinned at him.

"Yeah." He hummed "For you at least." he said and looked him up and down. "Although this isn't very you " he sighed. "The you I knew was more flashy, with golds, black, and green."

Loki blinked and narrowed his eyes. "How do you know I like those colors?" he asked and Tony shrugged.

"I told you." he said and stared at him intently. "We know you." He looked away as he heard footsteps again. They kept feeding Natasha quietly as the guards walked by, not even looking up to see them as they made their rounds. Loki waited until they left, still wondering about how Tony knew what he knew.

"What else do you know about me?" he asked with an amused smile, but he could hear his heart beat fast in his chest. "Sometimes, I don't even feel like I know." he breathed. Tony smiled and reached over for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "We'll figure it out." he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope at last! Writing is so much easier now that I'm home for break. Some actual frostiron coming up soon.


	10. Chapter 10

 

Loki took a step out of his bedroom, the paint roller grasped tight in his hand as he looked around, his jeans and a black t-shirt splattered with paint. The white walls had been painted a muted green. New dark wooden chairs and a matching elegant coffee table were in pushed together into the center of the room.

" _This one." Tony pointed to one of the numerous paint chips lain on the floor. "This is you." He said and went back to trying to push Natasha's hair into a ponytail as she slept on his lap._

Loki smiled and dropped the roller into the small tray of paint and went back in, sitting down on one of the plastic cover chairs and looked around at his slowly changing room.

" _For the furniture look for something that says elegant, but… mysterious and sexy." Tony said and smirked when he saw the confused on Loki's face. "Think like a retired pimp." He chuckled as he avoided a smack on the head from Loki and Natasha groaned on his lap. Tony smiled at him. "No, but seriously, something fancy looking." He hummed._

He smiled at the memory and he tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. He had been talking to Tony too much in the past month, both of them making theories of who he was and what he liked, as if he was another person. Sometimes he thought he was playing too much on Tony's delusion, but as he looked around again, everything there felt right, felt like him. He stood and walked over to the small trunk of books that was now at the edge of his bed and took out one of the ones that Tony had recommended, the Collected Works of Shakespeare, the spine of the book already broken in from how often Loki read it.

He went out to the living room and stretched out on his couch before beginning to read but his mind quickly shifted to Stark again. Loki let the book rest on his chest and closed his eyes as he thought about one of their conversations when the others had been in the main room and Tony had been alone in his room.

_Tony glanced as Loki came in and he smiled a bit. "Sit." He said and glanced to the edge of his bed. Loki smirked but sat down._

" _Last I knew, I was the one giving the orders… why are you alone here?" He asked and reached over to push Tony's hair out of his eyes. "Remind me to bring some scissors so we can cut your hair." He hummed._

_Tony closed his eyes at the touch. "Aside from you, I am alone here." He said, as if Loki should have known. "…You know…" he hummed as Loki kept running his hand through his hair. "I wish you had accepted that drink the first time I offered it."_

_Loki wasn't thinking, just focusing on how Tony's eyes looked into his, and nodded. "Me too." He said and felt bad when he saw Tony's eyes lit up. "…I just wish I could remember it more." He said, not wanting him to get too excited. Tony sighed._

" _You will." He said, clearly believing it. "You're in there somewhere." Loki took his hand back and Tony grabbed it. "Try, yeah?" He whispered._

Loki sighed, remembering how he had nodded like an idiot. How he was still considering this was incredible. There was something going on, there was no denying that, but it wasn't that he was some Norse god that had lost his memory. He had looked up the Avengers and every other name that Tony had given him of each member but he couldn't come up with anything.

And yet… Loki wanted to believe it, he wanted to remember this, if even just so Tony would smile at him and he could feel like he had made him proud somehow.

For some reason, Loki wanted that. He wanted to feel like he had met someone's expectations, hadn't let them down, like he sometimes felt when Thor looked at him with those big, sad, blue eyes. Most of them looked at him like that now, like he had somehow let them down and at the same time met all their expectations as a failure. The feeling left a bitter taste in his mouth and at the same time it wasn't an unfamiliar feeling.

* * *

Tony felt Clint's fist collide with his face before he saw it coming and hissed as the blood ran down his face. "Why would you say that?" Clint screamed and pinned Tony down, his fist poised for another hit before he got distracted by Bruce crying again. Tony tossed him off and kicked him in the side.

"All I asked was if he was hurt from last night!" he hissed as Clint went back to wrap his arms around Bruce and let the man cry into his chest. "Fuck you." He muttered and wiped the blood off his face, walking back towards his room. Loki was late, and it was setting him on edge. He pulled his legs to his chest and just sat there, slamming his fist into the same spot on the wall that now featured a large crater. Loki usually made him feel better about it, letting their happiness get to him like this. He glared at the ground but looked up as Steve stumbled into the room, practically dragging Natasha on her knees. He rushed to them but Steve held his hand up to stop him as he tried to get his thoughts straights.

"Fury in the room…with Thor." He managed and sat down by Natasha, not bothering to try to make it to Tony's bed, too drugged to even think that far. Tony frowned and ran towards the room, glaring at the guards that stood at the door.

"What does he want?" He asked them and they ignored him. "Too low down on the rank to know?" he asked them and he saw a few of their hands twitch to grab for their batons or guns. He saw one boy he didn't know and moved close to him. "You're new" he hummed as he saw the lack of gun. "Well, welcome to SHIELD, where you thought you'd be doing good but you're a guard at a psych ward where they rape their fake patien-"he groaned as one of the other guards hit him in the stomach but he caught the look of horror on the man's face before he was hit over the head and dropped to the ground.

"Hey!" Loki hissed and ran to Tony before the guard could hit him again. They looked at him in shock, clearly not expecting him to get there as fast as he did. "Tony" he said in a bit of panic as the man didn't move. "Tony… answer me." He set Tony's head on the ground and leaned down to but his head on his chest. He was startled as he heard the soft whirring again but sighed at the soft beat of his heart. "You brut!" Loki yelled up at the guard "He wasn't doing anything!" he held Tony close to him. The door opened and Loki looked up at Fury. "Fury!" he breathed. "Do you see what this idiot did?" he demanded, he was shaking and his eyes were tearing up out of rage.

Fury looked down at them and then at the guard. "I'll talk to you later" he said. "Loki, just try to get Tony back to his room…" He looked at him curiously. "You can stay with him for a few hours until he wakes up." He muttered and walked out, taking the guards with him. Loki glared at the ground quietly, still shaking in rage, until a hand touched his shoulder.

"It's okay." Thor said and leaned down to pick Tony up and put him over his shoulder.

"Be careful with him." Loki said sharply and took Thor's hand as the other pulled him up. "Those idiots." He muttered as they walked back to Tony's room and helped Thor set him down on the bed.

Thor watched him as he moved Tony's head to lie on his lap and ran his hands through his hair. "He'll be okay." Thor said gently and sat near them. "You've grown close with him." He said softly. Loki didn't look at him, just rubbed the back of Tony's head where he felt a bump forming.

"I suppose." He said softly. "He's the only person who really makes any sense to me right now." He told him, his eyes staying on Tony. "You and the others want me to be something I'm not… but at the same time I feel lost with who I think I am." He muttered. "Don't listen to me." He said when Thor didn't answer him. "I'm just stressed and sleep deprived." He looked at him, the same safe smile on his face. "Steve and Natasha were falling asleep on the couch, you should go with them. We'll be okay." He said.

Thor nodded and stood. He walked out and took a last look at them, as Loki's dropped his act, his eyes showing the real fear he felt, and closed the door. He walked towards the common area slowly, Fury's words echoed in his head over and over.

" _Loki's memory is bound to come back at some point; you and the others are responsible for that." Fury sighed. "When it does, we will have no choice but to kill him." He raised his gun to Thor as the other moved to attack him. "Let me speak." He said sternly. "We'll have no choice… unless you leave with him, back to Asgard." He sighed._

_Thor frowned. "Why hasn't my father come for us already?" he asked._

" _Because he knows we'll kill you if he came down" Fury said. "He struck up a deal, if we spare you and Loki, Asgardians will never set foot on earth again."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry I've been gone for so long! I have finals now so I'm sorry for taking so long. Review, because it really does encourage me to write.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! Thanks for all the lovely reviews, they really made my day.

When Tony woke, he kept his eyes closed, keeping his breathing even as he felt the soft fingers in his hair.

It reminded him of Pepper, when he would work too hard and ended up falling asleep on the couch and would end up waking up to her hands running through his hair like this. He wanted to believe it was that but it wasn't the same, the hands were more careful, softer, with short nails running over his scalp. The scent that filled his nose didn't remind him of roses and coffee, like Pepper usually would, but like mint and plain soap, clean and crisp.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at Loki with a soft smile. "Hey" he breathed softly as the hand stopped. He wanted to ask for him to keep going but saw the worry in his eyes. "I'm okay." he said softly.

Loki frowned at him, his hand at the nape of Tony's neck. "You didn't look okay." he scolded "I thought you were dying." He muttered. Tony smiled and reached up to grab his hand and held it, resting their hands on his chest.

"It's okay." he said. "I don't die that easily." he promised. He looked into Loki's eyes and felt his chest tighten at the genuine look of concern, like Loki was scared to lose him.

"I'll try to remember that." Loki said softly and felt the vibrations in Tony's chest travel up his arm. "What is this?" he asked softly and tapped at the thing through Tony's shirt.

Tony smiled "It's a secret." he said and smirked as Loki pouted.

"Don't you trust me?" he asked, offended and was tempted to push Tony's head off his lap if the other hadn't been hurt. Tony chuckled.

"I do... Fine I'll tell you." He said and gestured for him to come close and smiled and Loki bent down to hear him. Tony smiled and turned Loki's head before the other could react and kissed him deeply. Loki's eyes widened and he froze for a second before he began to respond, tentative and slow as their breathing began to get heavier, their eyes closing to savor this small moment of bliss.

They pulled apart slowly after a bit, their eyes opening to look at each other. "...That wasn't an answer." Loki said softly, his cheeks red, and Tony laughed.

"Sorry" he said and brought up Loki's hand from his chest to press a soft kiss to it. Loki smiled softly as Tony began to talk "I got hurt." he said softly and arched his back a bit to raise his shirt. It had been days since his last "session" but there were still some marks and bites that were clearly fresh on his skin. "A friend helped me make this" he tapped the arc and then clicked it out of place and took it out. "It's my heart, the arc reactor." he smiled and looked up at Loki, seeing his eyes weren't on the arc in his hand but the cuts and bites that got worse as they disappeared under his pants. Tony snapped it back into place and pulled his short down roughly. "It's nothing." He said but Loki grabbed his hand, perhaps a bit too tight as Tony flinched.

"Who did that to you?" he asked and Tony held back the shudder, as Loki's harsh green eyes bore through him.

"...The guards." he breathed softly, knowing better than to lie when Loki was close to blowing up. "Don't do anything." he said and held his hand. "Loki, it's more important that you try to remember, get us out of here, save us!" he said as Loki pulled away from him and paced in front of him.

"You're not a hero, Tony!" he screamed at him "you're a sick man! I can't save you from here because this is where you should be." he kept yelling and felt his stomach turn as Tony flinched but couldn't stop, needing both of them to understand that Tony was sick before they got more involved. "I can only save you from this" he lifted Tony's shirt and pressed on one of the cuts with his thumb. "This is real!" he yelled at him. Loki looked at his eyes and felt Tony shaking under him and realized what position they were in, with Loki holding him and forced between his legs. Loki pulled back quickly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-"

"Get out." Tony cut in and turned away from him. He curled on the bed, holding himself. "Get out!" he said with more force, his nails digging into his sides as he shook. Loki felt his chest ache and walked towards the door slowly.

"I... I really..." he choked on the words and bit down on his lip, refusing to cry and walked out. He held his head high as he walked towards the others. "He's fine." he smiled at them as they began to ask. "He just needs rest." he promised them.

* * *

Something was wrong. Thor could feel it. He watched Loki, his brother's wide smile becoming more and more forced as the day went on. He finally knew when Loki went for lunch and didn't come back. "He got sick." A guard informed them. "Go to your rooms, we don't want to deal with you right now." He sneered.

Thor stood to help Natasha but she shook her head. "I'm going to help Clint comfort Bruce. I'll be by before bed" she said softly, having her wits back now that the inital dose of the medicine was mostly worn off. He nodded and helped Steve up, holding him close as they walked back to the room.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked as they closed the door and sat down on their connected beds. Thor sighed and lay down in his usual spot at the center of the bed.

"I'm worried." he said honestly. "For my brother." Steve looked at him and gently lowered himself to press against Thor's side, his head on the larger man's arm and he put his arn around him carefully. They could never let themselves get so intimate without the excuse of night but, without Natasha, it seemed much easier now. Thor turned onto his side to look at him and pulled him close by his waist and they lay together. "Thank you." he breathed into his hair after a while. "You calm me." His eyes were closed.

Steve looked at him lovingly and squirmed up a bit on the bed to press his lips to Thor's gently, his hand at the nape of the man's neck. Thor's eyes opened, looking at the sweet determination in Steve's face as he kissed him. He smiled and responded, his hand traveling up and down Steve's spine as they kissed. "You're welcome." Steve said softly as they pulled away for air and smiled at him. "Loki, will be okay." He said softly "He has you protecting him." Thor smiled at him sadly and nodded.

"I want to protect him" he said "but it's hard." he breathed, knowing that he would have to leave them behind. "I'd have to-" Steve put a hand on his lips.

"Don't psych yourself out." he said "we're still alive so there is always hope." He told him. "Just... Make use of the best of what we have." he whispered and pulled his hand off his lips and kissed him again, deeper this time. Thor wanted to protest but he got lost in the kiss, feeling Steve get more rushed the more they kissed and feeling the same type of rush, knowing it would probably be their only time. He felt the smaller man's hand wander down his chest and caught it before it slipped into his pants.

"Not here, Steve" He said softly but bit his lip when he saw the sadness in the other man's face.

"When then?" He asked him. "When will we have time to do this?" he breathed. "I...Thor, I need this, with you." he said and brought Thor's hand to touch his face. "Before anything bad happens, I want to know I have you." he said.

Thor looked over his face and kissed him deeply, knowing he was right. "Okay." he breathed and kissed down Steve's jaw to his neck as the other's hand went down to his hospital pants again and slipped in. He gave a soft grunt as Steve's cold hand wrapped around his length but kept kissing and marking his neck lightly where he could still cover it with the hospital shirt.

Steve shuddered softly at the kissing and soft bites and began to stroke slowly, not surprised at how fast Thor hardened in his hand. He shuddered as the length was hot and heavy in his hand, slowly covering his hand in pre-come as he stroked him from head to base. "Is it good?" he asked softly as he shuddered from how Thor bit down on his shoulder.

"Yes." Thor breathed and couldn't help thrusting into the hand lightly. "It's very good." Steve whined at the soft breath tickling his neck and then gasped as Thor began to stroke him through his pants, the friction of his soft cotton underwear and the heat from Thor's hand was enough to turn him into a trembling mess.

Thor smiled as Steve's hand became clumsier, sometimes forgetting to stroke as he enjoyed the sensations. Thor pulled back and pressed Steve down gently, looking down at him with gentle eyes. "Lift your hips." he said and pulled down Steve's pants slowly, tossing them to the edge of the bed and settled between his legs when Steve opened them cautiously, blushing as he did. Thor smiled fondly and leaned down to kiss him slowly and wrapped his hand around both their lengths and stroked them slowly, occasionally thrusting to add to the friction. He watched Steve's every expression, smiling as the other began to lose himself under his touches and kisses.

Steve's arms and legs wrapped around Thor to hold him close and he whimpered into the bigger man's neck when he saw how the other's eyes drank him in. "Stop" he breathed "don't look at me, it's embarrassing." he said and whined as Thor sped up.

"Let me hear you then." The bigger man whispered. "Say my name." he breathed. "Forget this place, forget everything, just focus on me." His breathing became heavy as he felt closer.

Steve closed his eyes tight, whimpering as Thor spoke and Steve fell over the edge as he cried out his name. He panted, shuddering at the friction on his sensitive length as Thor kept stroking him and thrusting against him before he felt the other come as well, their come combining on Steve stomach. "Hold me." Steve said softly as Thor lay down next to him. "Please... Just-" he didn't finish as Thor wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply.

"I have you" he breathed "for as long as I can." he stroked Steve's hair, smiling as the other fell asleep in his arms. Thor smiled sadly and nuzzled him as he slept. He'd have to leave him behind but he needed to take care of his brother, like Steve said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh done! I know most people are here for Frostiron but shit is about to go down and this was important. Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Loki squirmed in his bed as he lay there; feeling heat throughout his entire body as if his veins had begun to pump acid through his body instead of blood. He gripped the sheets that were now soaked with his sweat and screamed, arching up on the bed. “Fuck!” he screamed and tried to bite down on his lip so that his neighbors wouldn’t call the police. His head was pounding and he felt it about to explode.

Less than an hour ago, all that he been thinking about was Tony, just Tony, the guilt of what he had said to him and the look on the man’s face weighing down on his mind. Now, he had just left him in the hands of people who had been raping him and Loki felt tempted to go back, but with the show he had made about feeling the need to throw up and how close it as to night time, they would probably just send him home again.

He had sighed and poured himself a drink and sipped at it slowly before setting it down and stared down at the crystal glass and the whiskey that Tony had told him was his favorite when he began to feel his headache as he remembered something.

_“Would you like a drink?” Tony said as he walked around a large room towards a bar. He was dirty and slightly injured but he held his head high as he walked around, a glimmer of the pride that the man still had even at his worst moments._

_“Stalling me won’t change anything…” It sounded like his own voice but something was wrong, it was hard, distant. He turned to look out of the large windows at a burning city, feeling himself fill with panic, regret, and a satisfaction that wasn’t entirely his. The part of him that felt more his own made him turn back to Tony._

_“No, no, no, I’m threatening.” Tony corrected him and the human’s cocky smile amused him “No drink? You sure? I’m having one.” Loki chuckled softly and looked_

Loki had pushed away from the table “No, no” he said and grit his teeth as he held his head, feeling it pounding hard. “I-I’m just tired.” He breathed and stumbled towards the room. He managed to lay down on his bed before the real pain began to go through his body, where he was now, and couldn’t resist screaming again as another memory forced itself into his head, this time of him and Thor on a shimmering bridge.

After that, he was too far lost to restrain himself from screaming, slamming his fists down on the bed as more memories slammed into his brain and couldn’t even register it as people came in his apartment. “A fucking drink set him off?” One asked as they looked around the apartment as another group went to pick Loki up and carry him out and down to the van.

One of the men who had been collecting Loki went to them. “He mentioned Stark, when he was screaming.” He said. “Maybe it’s to do with him.” He looked at the bottle of whiskey that Loki had poured. “Either way, make sure that you tell Fury. We’re going to take him to the other location.” He said. “We have maybe an hour or two to start wiping his memory again before he gets them all back, hopefully Fury can get Thor to come before we gotta kill the guy.” He muttered and walked out. 

Thor watched Steve and Natasha as they slept, curled around together and pressed close to him. He sighed, not able to sleep after what Fury had said to him. There was a loud slam of the door as it opened, waking both of them up as men came in and grabbed Thor, holding Steve back as he tried to go after him. “Stop it!” Steve screamed before the door was closed on him and Natasha as Thor was dragged out, his head covered in a dark hood before he was knocked out.

When he woke all he saw was bright lights, squinting and looking down as they hurt his eyes, his eyes focusing on the handcuffs that had been strapped close. “Where am I?” he breathed and looked up when he heard someone taking steps towards him.

“Glad to see you’re awake.” Fury said and nodded for him to follow him. Thor stood slowly and followed him over to the large clear window, looking down at a small white room, the lights focused on a table at the center where Loki was strapped in and screamed in pain.

“What are you doing to him?” he demanded and hit the glass but Fury gripped his arm hard.

“We’re not doing anything.” Fury sighed and rubbed his temples, clearly not having been prepared for this. “Something triggered him before we thought.” He said. “We don’t know what it was; he was just drinking something and all he’s said is Stark’s name so far.” Thor glanced at Fury, and then back at Loki, remembering how Loki had asked Tony for a drink when he had first come to after the battle in New York and how his brother had looked at Tony today.

“…What now?” he asked softly and touched the glass, feeling sick as he heard and watched his brother in so much pain. “What are you going to do to him?” he asked quietly.

“Depends on you.” Fury said as he looked at him. “You remember what I told you?” he asked and Thor nodded. “You have to decide to go back with him, with his memory altered, or… we have men ready to shoot him down and take you back to where the others are.” Thor ground his teeth, thinking of his friends and especially Steve.

“What will happen to them?” he asked Fury.

“Nothing.” He said. “They’ll be safe, sedated; I’ll make sure no one hurts them more than need be.” Thor glared at him.

“You mean with the rape and abuse?” He demanded and Fury sighed.

“I’ll see what I can do to stop that.” He told him. “You have to understand that your part of the deal will be reinforced by your father. You can’t say anything to Loki about what happened in Midgard.” Thor glared at the ground but nodded.

“I understand.” He said after a few minutes. “Let Loki go.” He breathed and watched as men came in to take him away. “Can I say goodbye to my friends?” he asked as more guards came in. Fury shook his head.

“No” he said “but thank you.” Fury said. “I hope to never see you again.” He said before the guards grabbed Thor and knocked him out again, dragging him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review if you can, I'm feeling kinda down about this story lately since I really do rely on people's feedback to improve my writing. 
> 
> Also, if you want some sorta cute frostiron pwp, I posted a new one-shot recently.


	13. Chapter 13

It wasn't light or alarms that woke Tony this time, he'd been awake the whole night and simply sat up when the guards came for them, limp and obedient as they slapped cuffs on him and led him out to where Clint and Bruce were, standing in a line of chains.

They chained him in front of them and soon Natasha came and was chained in last as Steve was carried out in a gurney, his face swollen from beatings. "What did you do to him?" Clint hissed and tried to lunge for a guard but didn't get far as he pulled on the rest of their chains. The guards beat him back with a thick stick, hitting his legs and stomach.

"He struggled." One guard said. "Now shut up or you'll end up the same." he barked at him and Clint hissed but kept quiet when Bruce pressed close to him and gripped his shirt.

"Don't" Bruce breathed. "Please." he gripped tight to the thin fabric of his shirt, only calming down when Clint relaxed and kept walking with them. "...what happened to Thor?" He asked as they were loaded into a van, still all kept together save for the large blonde.

"He's gone." Natasha whispered "They told us that he decided to go back to Asgard... That's when Steve lost it and attacked a guard." She looked away from them, recognizing the look on their faces. "He didn't betray us." She said sternly. "I'm sure he had his reasons for doing it." Clint scoffed and looked down at the floor bitterly.

"No, you just got soft and let your guard down." Clint muttered. "You and Rodgers didn't see him bidding his time so he could betray us and get himself and his precious brother out and back to daddy." He spit and Bruce pressed closer to him to comfort him.

Tony didn't care and looked away from them, too tired, too numb; he felt like as if Pepper had died all over again but all he could think about was those angry green eyes. He tried not to think about Loki or what the man was doing, wanting to hold onto the anger he still felt, since it was the only thing that felt real at the moment.

They led them out of the van and into what looked like the old SHIELD headquarters and Tony looked around with a small smirk. "Hate what you've done with the place." He said and got a swift hit to the head from one of the guards but it made him feel somehow better and alive. They led them into the dungeons that looked like where they had kept Loki but the cage had been replaced with glass tubs. They were each big enough to let them move around a few steps and the guards began to shove them into each enclosure.

"We'll bring you blankets, food, and your meds." A guard hummed. "Welcome to your new home." He smirked and Tony slid down the side of the way to lie down, having to curl his legs to be able to fit into the space. He rolled his eyes and tried to turn over as he saw Bruce and Clint trying to press as close to each other as they possibly could and talked to each other quietly.

* * *

Loki woke slowly and sat up, peeling off the soaked sheets off of himself and looked around at the healers' room. "Why…" he breathed and looked down at his clothes, wearing one of his old tunics and pants, feeling like something was off. He tried to stand but felt his head spin and flinched as someone grabbed his arm. "Let go." He mumbled and tried to pull away from the guard that gripped him.

"You have to lay down again, sire." He said and made Loki lay down again. "I can go get the king to come see you and your brother." He told him as Loki stared up the bright lights.

"Thor?" Loki frowned and looked around until he caught sight of Thor, laying down on a bed similar to his own and being pumped of fluids and medicine, a lot skinnier and dirty than the last time that Loki saw him. He saw the man's clothes and frowned, recognizing them as some of Thor's old clothes but like his own they were perfectly intact despite the bad condition of their bodies. "What happened to us?" he asked the guard quietly and saw the man raise an eyebrow.

"You don't remember?" he asked. "You two were gone for months, the Midgardians captured you and Prince Thor went to get you. His so called friends betrayed him to hold you there for your crimes, but Prince Thor managed to get you back yesterday." He said and frowned as Loki's hand went to his temples. He remembered something like that, remembers a dark room, remember Thor pulling him out and fights, but it didn't seem right.

"But how- "How could humans capture him when he felt his magic perfectly intact? He shook his head. "It's fine, thank you." He said and shooed him away. "Go get my father." He told him. The guard nodded and walked out. Loki grit his teeth and stood, walking over to the door dispute the spinning and locked the door, knowing it would give him a few more seconds and stumbled towards Thor. He stood over him and looked him up and down before grabbing at his tunic and raising it. He frowned as he saw the bruises and cuts. Midgardians had done this? It looked like there had been months of abuse, not something from a battle. He clenched his teeth, pulling his tunic back down and got back on the bed as he heard the guard coming back.

"Loki" Odin said as he walked into the room and walked towards his bed. "I'm glad to see you are alright." Loki opened his eyes and glared up at him as best as he could.

"Are you, 'father'?" he asked. "You were going to lock me up, take my freedom. Why would you care what happens to me at the hands of mortals?" He curled his lips in disgust as Odin held his hand.

Odin looked at him sternly. "It was your mother's last wish." He said and held onto his hand tightly "That someday, you, your brother, and I would be together again." Loki looked away from hand and tried to resist the urge to pull his hand away at the mention of his deceased mother. "After you helped Thor with the dark elves, I felt it right to pardon your crimes, the humans didn't see it the same way. When Thor went to get you, he had to betray the mortals he called friends and it means you two can't return to Midgard." He stressed and Loki frowned.

"I have my powers." Loki said. "If I wanted to I could kill all of those humans. I should kill them." He hissed. "For holding me there in that prison." Odin sighed and let go of his hand.

"You know you can't." He said. "Loki, you're barely regaining the confidence of the people… at the very least you own it to your brother. It pained him to leave his friends." Loki looked away from him and towards Thor. This was a lie. He knew it, he could feel it, but he didn't know why or how, or if Thor was in it.

"Fine." He said and looked up into the lights again. "My head still hurts." He said. "I'm going to sleep." Loki closed his eyes and heard Odin sigh.

"Alright. I'll have a couple guards in here." He said and Loki opened his eyes as Odin walked away.

"No!" he barked and Odin blinked and looked at him. "Not guards, healers." He demanded and Odin frowned in confusion. "Don't look so confused, _father_ " he hissed. "Send healers unless you want the kingdom to know your son was soiled by your trusted guards." Even as he said it, he was surprised with himself, with the indignation he felt of going through that again, when he had always held his tongue about it before. Odin seemed to notice it as well and nodded slowly.

"Very well…." He said softly. "I'll send them in." He said and walked out slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the people who reviewed! So we're coming to an end soon!


	14. Chapter 14

Tony felt like he was dying or that he was going to kill himself. He thought back to when he had tried to and felt pathetic that he hadn't managed to do it properly. He hit his head against the glass wall slowly, just hard enough so that the sound echoed around the room as everyone else was close to sleep.

"Tony, you're my friend and I love you, but cut it the fuck out." Clint muttered and glared at him lightly. The archer sat with his back to Tony, watching Bruce as he slept. Just from Clint's back he could tell that he and Bruce were just as dirty and thin as he was now, and he was glad for the dirt on the glass so he wouldn't have to see his reflection. He looked around at the others, sighing as he looked at Steve's face, the other's eyes puffy and swollen from crying himself to sleep like he did every night.

"…I'm going to go crazy here." He said quietly and saw Clint give a small nod. The treatment here seemed better than at the hospital, but now they had to watch each other waste away in these tubs with no way to hide it like before. He hit his head one more time on the thick glass and closed his eyes.

He had given up not trying to think about Loki; he was far too gone to care about his pride or to consider whether or not Loki had actually left out of his own free will or if the man even cared about him like Tony had believed at one time. At this point, he just missed the man who had been the only thing keeping him tethered to reality, the only thing he felt was worth staying alive for. He realized that now, without Loki, he wanted it to be over. Without him, there was nothing worth looking forward to and he felt emptier than he had ever felt before when he had been alone. His eyes wandered and he met the eyes of the guards on duty and motioned for them to come close, which they did slowly. Clint turned to look at him, frowning, but figuring Tony just had to use the bathroom or something. "What is it, Stark?" A guard asked and Tony leaned his head back to look up at him.

"Nothing." he said. "I was just wondering... if you every get tired of being pieces of shit." he smirked and saw Clint's head snap to look at his with wide eyes. "I honestly don't know why you bother going on living." he hummed and the guards hit the glass.

"Be quiet, Stark, or you'll be sorry." One man hissed and glared at him but Tony smirked even more.

"Oh, hit a nerve, didn't I?" he purred and got on his knees to press closer to the part of the glass where the man stood. "You know what you do is wrong, don't you?" he grinned, with crazed eyes. "Bet it keeps you up at night. 'Am I doing the right thing?'" he breathed. "Bet you're ashamed, where you couldn't tell your families before out of duty, now you can't tell them out of shame."

The younger of the two guards, ripped the door open and dragged Tony out. "Shut up!" he screamed and began to beat him with the metal stick he had. "Shut up!" The man had tears in his eyes but Tony didn't care, just hoped he had riled the man up enough that this beating would kill him.

"Stop, stop!" The other guard pulled him off Tony and tossed him back, going to check whether Tony was still alive. "We have to take him to the infirmary." He hissed and picked Tony up carefully, though the other groaned as his broken ribs were shifted. He was close to losing consciousness but the pain kept him awake until they got to the infirmary and he hoped he wouldn't survive this before everything went dark.

When he woke, he was strapped to a table, with IVs sticking out of his body at different points and his chest wrapped in tight bandages. He didn't even feel disappointment at failing again, just stared up at the bright lights in the room and felt empty. He stared up until his head ached from the light and closed his eyes. He wasn't religious but if God would kill him then he would pray day and night.

He wondered something and shifted a bit on the bed before looking up at the ceiling again. This was probably not how people prayed to gods, but he doubted the god he was trying to address would care about formalities and he began to pray. ' _Loki, I think we're past formalities_ ' he smiled and thought of the kiss and tried to think hard, wondering if he was crazy for wanting to believe that this would work. ' _You don't owe me anything... or fuck that, after what you did, you do owe me. Just... kill me, please._ " he sighed softly. " _Or... or if you won't.. talk to me... What happened? Why did you and Thor leave us here? Was I stupid for believing that I meant something to you?_ ' he sighed softly. ' _Amen, I guess? I know that's not your religion but it's the only way I know to end a prayer._ ' He smiled a bit and closed his eyes, relaxing on the bed as best he could. He somehow felt better, not knowing if Loki could hear him or not but it gave him some type of hope. If it was for death or to see him again, he didn't know, but it was hope.

* * *

Loki walked around the castle quietly, looking for Thor, annoyed with the idiot blonde. Any suspicion that he had about something going on was confirmed by the fact that the blonde was avoiding him like the plague.

He had followed him a few times, when the blonde believed he could sneak out of the castle without anyone noticing and would catch him going to the bifrost and talking to Heimdell, their voices quiet. He'd done it a few times in the last week and each time, whatever Heimdell told him, the blonde's eyes would fill with guilt and regret. Thor had become distracted and their subjects were starting to notice; he was losing fights, no longer having the excuse of being injured to be able to fall back on and people were worried that when the time came he wouldn't be able to rule them properly.

Even though people still didn't trust Loki, they knew that they needed a leader and with how out of it Thor seemed to be they began to look to Loki. In the last few weeks, Odin had begun to assign him tasks that were reserved for the crown prince. Loki had had to lead a couple of small battles, just to keep the peace, and attended a few knighting ceremonies but they didn't interest him anymore. Where he had once desired to be king, or to be recognized or praised, it brought him little pleasure from these people or even Odin, but he still felt something missing.

Loki sneered as he wove through the throngs of guards that had been placed in the halls around Thor's room. He waited until the guards moved away from the door to make their rooms and slipped inside. He could hear the man moving around in the bathroom and waited, his arms crossed over his chest as Thor came out. "Loki, what-"

Loki raised a hand to cut him off. "What the hel is going on, Thor?" he demanded. "i know you're hiding something from me." he came closer to him, smirking as Thor stumbled back a bit. "What happened on Midgard? What don't you want me to know?" He jabbed Thor's chest with his finger.

Thor looked down and bit his lip. "Loki... I don't know what you're-" he stopped since he saw Loki didn't believe him. "Loki, I can't tell you. Just please don't ask, I can't say anything for the sake of everyone else." he sighed softly.

Loki frowned. "Everyone?" he asked and looked over his face, searching for answers. "Who is everyone?" he demanded. "Who else is involved in this?" Thor looked away from him.

"i can't tell you, Loki." he said "I want to, but I can't." He looked at him when Loki didn't say anything and frowned as his brother's eyes had gone cloudy. 'Loki... is someone... praying to you?" he asked softly and held his arm to led him to sit down. The occasionally got prayers, less now that the religion had died down, but they affected Loki much more than the rest of them because he rarely got them.

Loki listened to the quiet prayer, knowing the voice but not being quite able to place, and it made his chest ache so much that he felt like he couldn't breathe. He didn't know when he began crying but soon he was bent over, his arms wrapped around himself and tried to catch his breath and his head pulsed and the last few months came back, slamming into him with staggering force. "Tony..." he sobbed and his hands went to his face, crying into them when the prayer was over and Thor looked at him, stunned.

"Loki, I-" He froze as Loki glared at him, his eyes red and tears still streaming down his cheeks.

"You!" he hissed "You made me leave him behind!" He screamed and his magic pulsed in him wildly and tossed Thor like a rag doll against the wall. His eyes flashed violently as Thor fell to the ground, poised to attack again but Thor looked up at him sadly.

"I lost Steve too." He breathed. "If I hadn't agreed to bring you back, they would have killed you." He stood slowly. "What was I supposed to do?" He asked him and Loki took a step forward, his eyes still dangerous.

"Trust me." He hissed. "Trust me to take care of it. To protect him! Not wait until he's begging for death, thinking that I left him behind!" he pinned Thor back and trying his hardest not to kill him then and there. "Tell. Me. What. Happened." he demanded.


	15. Chapter 15

Thor walked calmly down the halls of the castle, trying his best to smile at the guards and seem as normal as possible. The dull ache in his spine the only trace of the "chat" he had had with his brother last night. He smiled at his father and sat down by him at their breakfast table, reminding himself to at least try to pretend that things were okay. "Where's Loki?" he asked quietly and Odin sighed.

"Seems he caught some kind of virus." Odin grumbled, as if it was a nuisance that his son was sick rather than it being something to worry about. "He's staying in his room at least until tonight. Both princes can't look weak in front of the men." Thor flinched at the implication and sighed.

"Father, if I could only see Steve and make sure he was alright-" his mouth snapped closed as Odin leveled him with a stern glare.

"Enough, Thor!" He snapped and hit the table with his fist. "You can never go back! You are to be king! You have a duty to me and your people. I have been tolerant of you acting like a child until now but this has got to stop." He hissed at him. "No matter how you look at it your friends will die. It is the nature of humanity. They are dispensable and you cannot waste any more time caring for them." His eyes were cold and distant and Thor gave a small nod.

" _You will keep him busy." Loki said as he paced across the room in front of him. "Father won't go out of his way to see me anyway, but he needs to be sure that you are the priority."_

"I understand, father." He said softly. "I will… take over Loki's training of the guards today" he breathed "and any other duty that he has… I will make it up to you father, for getting me and Loki out of that situation." Odin gave a small curt nod.

"I'll be watching you, Thor." He said. "Do not disappoint me." He warned him.

_Loki stopped his pacing and glared at him. He crouched down in front of where Thor sat on the ground, his eyes crazed and dangerous. "Thor, do I have to continue explaining everything to you?" He asked coldly. "Let me make this simple." His face was cruel and unforgiving. "How is it that a group of Midgardians could trap a pair of gods, strip them of their powers, and erase my memories without any repercussions from Asgard?" He shoved Thor hard, his lips set in a firm line, and if Thor hadn't already been on the ground he would have fallen down. "There was foul play involved." He said every word clearly "They, the humans and father, took you for a fool and you fell for it!" He hissed, not believing Thor could be such an idiot._

"Yes, father." Thor said quietly and hoped that Loki could do whatever it was that he was planning on doing.

* * *

After everything that Thor had told him, it wasn't that hard to figure out what Odin wanted. As always, Loki was just a small game piece in Odin's quest to make the best heir possible. Loki shouldn't have been so surprised by now, after dealing with Odin's shit for so many centuries. He left a copy of himself in his room to continue acting sick and made his way to the bifrost. Despite everything, riding Slepnir calmed him and he felt his head clear up as they rode silently, the sun still rising and erasing the stars. As he got closer he made his clone disappear and smirked as Heimdell turned to him, his hand moving to the golden sword on his hip. "You make it difficult to watch over you, your highness." Heimdell said and gave a small bow, never taking his eyes off of him.

Loki jumped off Slepnir and looked at him with a small smirk. "Yes, well I've found that the less that you and my father know, the better." He walked towards him carefully. "Then again..." he looked at him thoughtfully "perhaps it's a family trait." He was gone in a second and he reappeared behind Heimdell, a long dagger pressed to the larger man's neck, already drawing some blood as he pierced the skin. "Where is my Anthony?" he demanded of him. "Tell me, or I'll kill you right here."

Heimdell swallowed slowly and then smirked. "You and I both know that is not in the prophecy." he said. "Otherwise I would have killed you myself long ago, your highness." he said with a mocking voice. "And as for the Midgardian, I'm under strict orders not to tell you... all you can know is that he is suffering and will be suffering until the end of his miserable lif-" Heimdell's eyes widened as the words caught in his throat and blood seeped down under his armor.

"I warned you." Loki said quietly into his ear and with a hard shove the guardian of the bifrost fell with a loud thud. Loki leaned down and took the sword from where it was on his hip and walked up the center of the room where the opening was.

_"When the bifrost opens, you have to make your way there." Loki said sternly. "Give me one day and then open the bifrost again." He grabbed Thor's chin and forced him to look at him, the idiot still moping. "You will kill anyone that stands in your way, including Odin."_

_Thor's eyes_ widened. _"Loki, I don't-" he bit his lip. "I can't."_

Loki pushed the sword into it's place and when the portal opened he ran through it. He didn't expect much of Thor, not when the idiot couldn't promise him that he would kill the person who had made the two of them suffer as much as they had, but he could trust him to try and protect him at least.

Loki looked up as he landed, feeling his stomach turn as the building he had lived in had turned into a disgusting looking hovel. The hundreds of people who walked around the area every day were gone and only a few dozen remained, a few standing close to each other, and stopped their conversations to look at Loki. "Yo!" One yelled at him. "This is our territory, get out!" He snapped and the others behind him puffed up as well, glaring at Loki.

Loki ignored him and looked up at the building again. During his best moments, he had hoped to bring Tony here someday, where the both of them could live in the modest little home he had made for them. It was silly now that he thought of it, a god and a human living together in a 2 bedroom apartment. He had stayed up nights wondering what it would be like to wake up next to him, to see him milling around the apartment at night, but now he wondered if Tony would even want that. After all, he'd been himself for less than a day and he had already murdered a man. Even if Tony did want that, how long would it last? He would get at most 50 years with the mortal, less probably, with Tony's tendency to put himself in danger.

"Hey man, what the fuck!" The man from before ripped him out of his thoughts again. "You ignoring us?" he demanded and walked towards Loki. Loki ground his teeth and raised his hand to him, letting his magic wrap around the man and raised him up into the air. As annoying as he was, he could serve for information.

"What happened here?" Loki said loudly, trying not to squeeze the man to death as he struggled in the grip of his magic and screamed.

The man kicked and his friends behind him were paralyzed with fear. "W-what do you mean, man?" he asked, panicking more as his efforts seemed to have no effect.

"This area, what happened to it? Where is everyone?" he asked him and gave a slightly harder squeeze so the man would talk faster.

"I-I don't know!" he screamed. "This area has been closed for months, wire fences, guards, dogs, the whole thing, yeah? No one was allowed in" he said "Then out of no where they were all gone, it's a ghost town, people are only now starting to move into this area again. The cops don't even know anything about it. We were just here cuz it's a good place to sell!" he grunted as Loki dropped him and ran after his friends, who had finally been scared out of their shock and began to run away.

* * *

Tony stared at his food with little interest. "I don't want it." he said as the guard shoved the tray at him and closed the slot again. He grumbled and just left it in front of him, glaring at the food.

' _How many times have I told you that you need to eat?'_ The voice startled him and his foot knocked over the bottle of water on the tray. There was a fond laugh and Tony smiled despite his shock, leaning back and letting the sound of the soft laugh surround him. "Eat, love." The voice said softly when the laughter died down. "You feel weak."

Tony huffed and looked around, figuring Loki was far if no one else seemed startled by the voice and how the SHIELD agents still milled around without a care. _'Well, I don't feel great."_ He said reluctantly. _'Where are you? I don't want you to get caught just for trying to get to me.'_ There was no reply and Tony began to worry that he had said something to make Loki mad, or that the other had already gotten caught during their brief exchange.

 _'Anthony...'_ Tony shuddered at the soft way the man said his name. _'You're locked up in a god damn tube, hours away from passing out if you don't eat and you still worry about me?'_ His voice was filled with shock and a bit of disbelief but Tony smiled softly. _'You stupid man...'_ He heard him breathe, his tone almost loving, but Tony refused to give himself that much hope. _'Why?_ '

Tony wanted to laugh but just smiled and leaned his head back on the glass to look up, figuring it was better than just staring at the ground. _'"Why"?'_ He asked back. _'I told you, Lokes.'_ He grabbed a piece of bread and he began to eat a bit of the corner of it. _'You're all I have left...I love you.'_ he said fondly.

There was no reply and Tony nibbled at his bread, just waiting for him, a bit used to Loki just thinking. He wondered if wherever Loki was he was biting at his lip like he usually did. _'I'm going to get you out of this fucking place.'_ He said softly.

Tony smiled up at the ceiling fondly. _'Oh! Language your highness. I'm definitely a bad influence on you."_ he smirked. _"But yeah?'_ he asked. _'Are we supposed to live happily ever after or something?'_ he asked him, feeling like it wasn't possible, not believing that they could ever get to that point.

There was more silence before he felt his body fill with a comforting warmth and wondered if this was what Loki's magic felt like when he wasn't being attacked. _'Yes, love.'_ he said softly. _'We will... I promise.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry, I've been gone for so long, I've had a lot of work recently, but please keep reviewing it definitely is the reason I came back to this.


	16. Chapter 16

Tony didn't know when he fell asleep; all he knew is that one second he was talking to Loki about how the man could help them escape, and then when he woke up he was lying down in the back of a dark car. He felt a weight on him and looked down at the weight, wondering if he was dreaming as he saw Loki curled up on his chest. He was feeling well rested for the first time in a long time and his hand went down to Loki's hair. He smiled as he could hear Loki's gentle breathing and kissed his head gently. "So it is true." Natasha said and he noticed they were all watching him. "I knew you were close, but I didn't think you'd actually grow attached to him." She smirked as Tony's arms tightened around Loki, holding him close to his chest protectively.

"What happened to me?" He asked them. They all looked tired and like they had just been in a fight, sporting bruises and cuts, especially Loki, whose clothes were tattered and there was some blood on him. Steve drove the car and he looked back at him and Loki through the rear view mirror.

"Loki said he put you to sleep. You've been out for almost a day. We've been driving for most of the time." He said and sighed when Tony looked alarmed. "He didn't say much except that Odin and Fury did this together, and that Thor was waiting for us to open the bifrost." Tony looked down at Loki. He had so many questions and he wanted to be angry at him for not letting him fight alongside him. Did Loki think he was weak, that he would always need to be protected?

Loki felt him shift and stirred. "Hi." He breathed softly, looking up at Tony with a soft smile, his eyes tired and his face stained with some blood that wasn't his own. His hand came up to touch Tony's cheek gently. "See? I promised, didn't I?" He said weakly, his fingers soft against his skin, and Tony felt his chest ache at how beautiful he was.

"You did." He said softly and kissed him, his arms tightening around him a bit and he held him close, glad as he realized that he was finally free to do so. He glanced at his friends and felt glad that they had looked away from them, Natasha helping Steve find his way as Clint and Bruce just held onto each other. "…Why didn't you let me help?" he asked softly, still holding Loki close, but frowned. "I could have done something, hell I'm not completely useless, Loki." He watched Loki's face, not seeing a change in it, almost as if the god had expected the question.

Loki sighed when he stopped talking and caressed his cheek gently. "I refuse to lose you." He said softly but it didn't any hesitation. It was something that he has come to terms with since finding Tony again and he moved up to bury his head into Tony's neck. "I've lost a lot but I won't lose you." He wrapped his arms around his neck and closed his eyes. "I love you, you idiot human." He breathed into his skin, his nails burying into Tony's shoulders as he held onto him. He was centuries old but his emotions were making him feel idiotic, like a child experiencing his first crush. He had killed without mercy once he was inside of SHIELD, making sure that the people who had hurt Tony were dead. He had been reckless in his rage, and almost gotten himself killed a few times if he hadn't let the others out to fight.

Tony held him tight, staring down at him as Loki gripped him tight. The god was shaking in his arms and Tony didn't know if Loki even knew. "Okay... I'm here." He said softly and stroked Loki's hair. "You won't lose me, and I love you too." He said with a small smile. "You managed to get under my skin after all, didn't you?" he kissed his nose as Loki looked up at him with cautious eyes. "I mean it." He assured him and kissed down to his lips. "I love you… the public you and the you only I know." He whispered into the kiss and felt as Loki smiled happily against his lips.

"We're here." Natasha announced as they arrived in front of Loki's old apartment. The bifrost mark was very clear on the ground and Steve looked up hopefully as they all climbed out of the car.

"We've got about… two hours before Thor is supposed to open the bifrost for us." Loki led them in to his building and smiled as they all looked around with similar expressions. They were drinking things in greedily, like Loki had seen in war prisoners and everyone but Tony seemed a bit overwhelmed.

Loki led them up to his apartment. "Nice colors." Tony smiled as they walked in and he looked around excitedly at all the decor that screamed Loki to him.

Loki gave a soft laugh, squeezing his hand lightly. "Make yourselves comfortable." He said to the others and gestured to the couch before he dragged Tony away towards the bedroom, locking the door behind him. "Do you like it?" Loki asked with a nervous smile that Tony remembered from when they used to secretly flirt in the ward.

Tony looked around and smiled warmly. It was just like Loki had described it, down to the pattern of his sheets and matching duvet. "Yeah." He said softly and sat down on the bed as he looked around. "It's very you." He said and smiled as he saw the books on the nightstand and ran a finger over the cover of one of them. "Come here." He said softly and looked back up at him. He opened his legs so Loki could stand between them and grinned as the god looked amused but went to him, wrapping his arms around Tony's neck gently. One hand played with the shaggy hair and Tony smiled as he caught Loki's lips in another kiss. "Thank you for everything." He breathed softly into the kiss, and the ease and slow manner of it was taking their breath away. Loki nodded a bit, just so he wouldn't have to stop kissing Tony and pushed him down onto the bed with a mischievous smirk.

"You are very welcome." He said softly and looked at him with loving eyes once he had managed to straddle Tony. Tony smiled up at him and ran his hands over Loki's sides, drinking him in and enjoying the view. "Don't get any ideas." Loki said softly as he saw Tony's eyes and leaned down to press soft kisses to his lips. "You still need to recover." He smiled as Tony nodded. "Afterwards, we can do whatever we want." He promised with a smirk and rolled his hips down against Tony's crotch teasingly.

"I might…I might need some time." Tony told him and bit his lip when Loki stopped kissing him and looked down at him with a small frown. "I just…I'm not myself just yet. You know what happened in the ward... I don't want whatever you and I do to be an escape from that or a way to forget it." He reached up to touch Loki's cheek, his stomach twisting up in fear. "I'm sorry. Just give me some time to get better, okay?" He felt like he was begging but he couldn't have Loki leave him. He tried to grab onto his hand as Loki began to move off of him.

Loki touched his cheek to calm him as he heard Tony panicking. "Love…baby…Anthony!" he said sternly when Tony didn't stop talking and trying to justify himself. "Calm down." He said when Tony's jaw snapped shut at his tone. He grabbed his face to make him look at him once he had climbed off him and felt Tony relax as he lay down by his side and let Tony hold onto him. "It's alright." He said honestly and kissed him gently. "I promise you… it's alright." He smiled at him gently and let Tony hold him close, his hands moving over the man's chest gently. "When it happened to me, it took me almost half a century before I let anyone else touch me...and even now, it's hard at times." He tried not to feel like he had made a mistake by telling him, knowing that he was only feeling so vulnerable because he had never told Tony, not because he thought the man wouldn't want him.

Tony looked at him and nodded. He kissed his nose gently and then nuzzled him. "Okay." He said softly and ran his hands over Loki's sides. "Thank you for telling me." He whispered and kissed him gently. Loki nodded and curled up into his side. They both felt safe like this, being held and were just happy to know that they were loved and cared for.

Loki smiled and kissed him a final time before he turned over and smiled as Tony pressed up to his back and held him so they could rest for a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn it. I just want them to be happy.... I'm either ending this soon so they can be happy or things are going to get worse...


	17. Chapter 17

_When Loki awoke he was alone in the dark room. He was cold and as he sat up and looked around the room was dark. The light colored walls were dark and the paint peeled from them in large chunks. "Anthony?" he called and got up. The ground was littered with dirt and he looked towards the door where it was coming. "Anthony?" he said again and opened the door._

_He was out of his apartment and stepped forward carefully towards the small crowd. He pushed through them angrily and froze as he saw the elaborate grave they stood in front of. Loki dropped to his knees as he read the name written largely on the tomb stone. "No, Anthony..." he breathed and his hands gripped handfuls of the dirt as he cried. He looked up as he felt a fragile hand grab his arm gently._

_"It's okay." The old man who grabbed his arm said. "It was finally his time. He was happy." he smiled sadly and Loki felt his blood run cold as he recognized Banner's slightly curly gray hair and gentle green eyes. He looked at the others and they were similar, shadows of what they had been and close to death as well. Loki looked back at the marble stone, his eyes full of tears and cried more when he saw his own face reflected in the smooth marble, still young and as sharp as it always had been and knew it would be centuries before he could follow his Anthony._

He felt himself being tugged out of the dream as he felt a soft hand on his cheek and had to blink the tears away before he could see Tony looking down at him with concern. "Hey, baby, what's wro-" Tony didn't even get to finish asking before Loki's arms wrapped around him tightly and held onto him. "Hey...it's okay." he breathed soothingly and ran his hand over Loki's hair. "Whatever it is, it'll be okay. It was just a dream." he said as Loki shook in his arms.

"No... No, it's not." Loki croaked softly and pulled back as Tony began to wipe his tears. "It's our future... it's my future without you." He breathed and closed his eyes. Tony frowned and looked down at him, still wiping away at Loki's tears and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Hey." he said sternly when he understood. "Look at me." he told him and smiled softly when Loki's eyes opened to look at him again. "I'm not going anywhere." he said softly and kissed his lips gently. "You and I will figure it out." he promised with a soft smile. "I'll fight death itself if I have to." he promised and nuzzled him, feeling Loki relax under him.

Loki looked up at him hopefully. "Yeah?" he asked and kissed him gently, a bit more desperate, his hands burying in Tony's hair. "How?" He demanded. "How are we supposed to stay together, when my life is more than twenty times of yours?" he said. "It doesn't help that you insist on putting yourself in danger." He tightened his fists around Tony's shirt.

Tony sighed softly. "Come on, love." He said gently. "If Thor manages to defeat Odin, won't he become the all-father?" he asked him and Loki frowned.

'I mean... yes" He said "but why does that matter?" he asked him, not caring about power now that he had Tony back.

Tony smiled at much Loki had changed. "Because Thor still has to find a way to keep Steve alive, which means that whatever he does, we can piggyback on." He smirked. "Come on, I can't even be the smart one." Loki blinked and then smiled.

"Yeah..." he said softly. "I guess I was being stupid." He ran his hand through Tony's hair. "...You promise we'll be okay?" he asked.

Tony smiled and nodded. "Yeah." he said softly and nuzzled him happily. "Don't you think we've suffered enough?" he asked and kissed him deeply. Loki moaned softly into his lips and held onto Tony closely. Tony sighed in annoyance as someone knocked.

"Guys." Natasha called. "It's almost time. We gotta go" She said and they sat up.

"Ready?" Tony smiled and Loki nodded, slipping his hand into Tony's. They walked out together and followed the others down. They stood in the circle made by the bifrost and Loki looked up.

"Thor!" He called and they waited. "Thor!" No reply came and Loki hissed. "That idiot." He looked at the others. "We can't move from here." He told them and they settled down on the ground. Tony sighed and held Loki close to him, not feeling like he could let the other go after everything. Loki smiled softly and leaned back onto him and sighed happily. "How are you all feeling?" he asked them.

"We're coming out of the drugged state, so like shit." Clint said. "Bruce especially." he said and looked down at him worriedly and wiped the bit of sweat off of the man's brow.

"I'm fine." he said softly but he was shaking gently and his eyes flashed green from time to time. "It's just... the other guy keeps trying to come out." Loki frowned and sat up from where he was against Tony's chest and moved forward to see if he could help. As he moved, there was the sound of a shot and Loki managed to raise his hands to put up a defense barrier for them and looked around to see if anyone was hurt.

"You fucking missed!" The guy that Loki had attacked before hissed and they ran away before anyone could do anything.

"Tony..." Natasha breathed and they looked down at his stomach as his clothes began to soak through with blood. Loki screamed and Tony looked at him as he began to fall onto the ground, barely registering anything besides how light her felt. Loki eased him down gently and Tony felt a few stray tears land on his face.

"No, no!" Loki said and tried to heal him but it was slow and his hand pressed against the wound in Tony's stomach to try to keep him from bleeding out. "No! You promised!" He grabbed one of his hands and brought it to his cheek. "Look at me. Remember, you promised." He kissed his hand desperately, trying to blink the tears out of his eyes so he could look at him. "Please."

Tony felt blood in his mouth and tried his best to swallow it down. "I know..." he breathed and smiled up at him. "I'm still here." he stroked his cheek gently but he felt his vision fading around the edges.

"Thor!" Steve screamed up, the rest of them not knowing what to do as they watched their friend die. "Thor, please!" he begged up.

Loki lay down by him on the ground and he sobbed into his neck. Was this it? Was he really never meant to be happy? He didn't deserve Tony, but he cursed the fates that had forced the man to love him back and accept him in a way that no one else had. "You can't leave me." he breathed. Even until Tony's last moments, Loki would be selfish. He eased Tony's pain but even now he felt him slipping away from him. "Please." he begged in a voice so small he doubted that Tony heard and brought the man's hand to his mouth. He pressed shaky kisses to his hand and held it to his own face, needing Tony's touch more than ever now. "Please." He whimpered again and closed his eyes so he could fell Tony's chest rise and fall under him.

Tony's hand was slow as he touched him. "Maybe...it's just finally my time." he breathed, knowing it was... feeling it was... and needed Loki to know and to let him go. "But... I was happy..." he slurred as his eyes fell shut "with you." He took a deep breath and felt his mouth fill with blood again. "Even... even the worst times were g-great with you." He felt his heart break as Loki looked at him with his large green eyes filled with pain and anger eyes.

"You promised." He insisted and Tony nodded.

"I know." He said "but-" he felt his eyes closing and Tony's hand on his shirt tightened. "You gotta let me go, Loki... ." He said, knowing the words were in vain. "I love you, yeah?" he breathed, wanting to say it and for Loki to know it in his last breath. "I love you so much." He whispered and held onto him as best he could.

Loki watched his eyes close as the mark of the bifrost lit up from under them and they were taken away. He barely felt the journey this and when they landed he was already numb. With the thousands of lights that swirled around them in the bifrost, the only light Loki's eyes remained on was the one in Anthony's chest, his Anthony, and then it went out with a soft flicker.

He knew people were around them, felt people try to touch his arm or to grab Tony but he didn't budge. He lay over him, pulling his cape over Tony like a blanket and curled up by him, tucking himself into his side. He didn't know how much time went by as he lay there. Sometimes he just looked at Tony's face, his magic keeping him warm and almost looking alive, and Loki traced a finger over his cheekbones and jaw. "You have to wake up, love." He urged him once the skies began to get dark. "It's almost night." he nudged Tony gently and nuzzled him. "Please... y-you'll get sick if we just lie here all night." he insisted and kissed his cheek. "Please... please, wake up."

Tony's friends watched from a distance. "We have to take him back..." Clint said softly, his own eyes red and puffy. "Ton-he wouldn't want anything to happen to Loki by just staying here." he said and went to try to ease Loki off the ground but the god fought him and pushed him away desperately, rushing back to curl up to Tony and continued talking to him.

"He won't leave." Thor said softly, holding onto Steve as the blonde cried. "...I'll leave two guards here to watch over him tonight. We'll see what we can do tomorrow." he told them and took a last sad look to his brother, who was stroking Tony's cheek gently. "Come." He led them into the carriage and they began to ride back to the palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think just one left. Fuck this, everything hurt as I wrote this.


	18. Chapter 18

"Can we just force him back to the palace with us?" One guard said quietly as they watched Loki still curled up to Tony but he had wrapped the man's arm around himself as he shook gently. "If we don't die from frostbite, he will." He muttered and rubbed his arms in an attempt to get warm again. The other guard stared at Loki.

"I don't know…" He said. "I'd rather risk the cold than him trying to kill us for trying to take him away from the dead Midguardian." He sighed. "But we can try." He said and they walked over to Loki carefully.

"Your highness…" The first guard mumbled quietly. "Maybe we should take you both back to the palace." He crouched down by him when Loki curled closer to Tony, his face almost covered by the cape that was wrapped around the both of them. "It's cold…and he should be given a proper burial, so he can go to Valhalla." Both guards jumped back as Loki's blue hand tried to claw at them. The blue bleeding onto his face as he felt rage bubble in him.

"He's not dead!" Loki screamed at them, blocking Tony from their vision and he glared at them. "Leave!" He hissed and they scrambled back as the ground began to get covered in ice. He kept glaring at them as they ran off, not noticing how he had frozen things over until he turned back to Tony. His lips had gone blue and the arm that was close to Loki was covered in ice. "No, love, I'm sorry." He said and scrambled to try to take the ice off and began to cry as Tony's skin turned black under his fingers from the cold. "Fuck!" he hissed. "I'm sorry!" He sobbed and pulled back until he could calm down enough to turn back into his Asgardian form. He crawled back to him as soon as he could and tried to heal his arm still crying. "You're okay." He said gently and stroked his cheek with his free hand. "You're okay… you're going to be okay." He promised and tried to blink the tears out of his face.

"He's not okay." A soft voice said and Loki's head turned fast to look at source of the voice. He rubbed his eyes and looked up at his daughter helplessly. "Father, he's dead." She said softly and sighed. The human half of her face looked at him sadly. "and he belongs to me now." Loki shook his head.

"No, Hela" he said. "He's fine. My Anthony, he's fine." He looked back at him and moved to touch his cheek but gasped as the body disappeared from under him and he hit the floor with a soft grunt. "No, no, Anthony!" He looked around desperately before glaring at his daughter, tears still running down his cheeks. "What have you done to him?" He demanded.

Hela was unfazed. "You wouldn't give him to me." She said. "I had to come and take him for myself." She told him softly and her eyes softened. "I'm sorry about your lover, father." She said softly. "But I don't make the rules of Hel, I'm simply an enforcer of them." She told him and sighed as he tried to shoot at her.

"Give him back, Hela!" He growled but his tone was so weak it was like begging. He kept throwing blasts at her, his eyes filling up more and more as they phased right through her.

She walked to him and gripped his hands tightly. "Stop, father." She said sternly. "You know better. I've explained how this works." He stared into her eyes, one pitying and one blank. "Whether he lived a full life, a happy life, or an empty one, a life was given to him. When someone ceases to exist, a life is taken back. That is the law." She said and slowly let go of his hands. They dropped uselessly at his sides and he stared at the ground. She watched him for a few more seconds and straightened up. "Life is a precious thing father… Many people who come to Hel, have wasted away suffering. Do not let that be your fate…. He does not want that for you." She said and took a step back but her dress was caught.

"You said 'he does not want…'" Loki said softly, his fist clenched tightly around her dress and she saw the white knuckles twitch.

"Yes." She sighed. "Right now, until we reach my realm, he resides inside me." She explained and touched her chest. She would never tell her father, but the mortal was giving her just as hard a time as he was, banging on every barrier inside of her designed to keep his soul captive. "Once I go there, his soul will be tied to the realm." She explained.

Loki stared at her. "And if… if it's not his soul? Would Hel accept that payment, all the same?" He asked and held on as she tried to rip her dress out of his hand.

"Father, no!" She hissed. "I won't take your life to spare that of some stubborn mortal!' Her eyes were filled with panic. Even as she said it, Hel, which was so intertwined with her own soul, began to demand him. She shook her head stubbornly. "Gods are not meant to be in Hel." She said. "And it wouldn't be a fair exchange."

Loki saw her begin to fight a losing battle as she stopped trying to convince him and more to convince herself. "Then take what is fair." He said softly. "Take the part of me that has lived, and split the life that remains between us." He told her and saw the desire in her eyes. "It's fair, Hela." He said softly. "The life I've lived... in exchange for a human life."

She knew his tone, his words meant to charm and seduce her with the idea. Hel fought back just as fiercely as she did, repeating Loki's words over and over in her head. "You would forget everything you have lived." She said. "Including him… you would start fresh." She told him, her last attempt at making him change his mind. "You would forget your magic, who you are, and what you like." She said as he stood.

He smiled - his eyes still red and puffy. "That will be fine." He said softly. "He has taught me who I was once before." He stretched his hand out to her. "I want the deal." He said. She sighed and looked at his hand and then back at him.

"Very well, father." She said softly and hugged him tight. "Promise I will not see either of you for a long time." She whispered. He smiled softly and wound his arms around her.

"I promise." He said softly.

* * *

Loki woke up slowly and he groaned at the splitting headache he had. He kept his eyes closed, very aware that he was being moved as his body regained feeling. He was warm and surrounded by the smell of cinnamon and soap and he pressed closer to the source. He blinked as he heard a soft chuckle. "Finally awake, huh?" A deep voice asked and Loki realized his face was pressed into the neck of a man.

"I suppose." Loki said and glared up at the offending light. It was almost morning and the man was carrying him down a long bridge of lights. He tightened his legs around the man's waist, not trying to make it harder for him to carry him down what looked like a long road. "Where are we?" he asked and realized he didn't know much of anything. He pulled back just a bit to look at the man's face. His warm brown eyes looked at him fondly and he had a soft, sad smile. He was familiar but he couldn't place him. "I'm guessing you know why I don't remember much." He said softly and settled back against the man's chest, tucking his face into his neck again and trying not to wonder why it felt right.

"Yeah." He said and kept walking, smiling as Loki buried himself in his neck.

" _What the fuck?" Tony demanded as he looked down at his hands. The memory of the shot was still fresh in his mind and he touched his stomach to find that nothing was there except soft white clothes. His eyes widened as he saw Loki being set down on the ground by someone. Tony ran to him and crouched down by him. "Who are you?" He demanded of the woman when he saw her face. "What have you done to him?"_

" _Nothing he didn't ask for." She said. "I'm Hela, Loki's daughter." Tony looked down at Loki and stroked his cheek, comforted in the fact that he kept breathing. "I came here to take you back with me to Hel, but my father had another idea…" She said and sighed when Tony gave her a look to explain. "He traded your life, for the one he had lived, and has split what was left of his between the two of you. He won't remember anything." She warned. "Not his name, not his life, not even you."_

_Tony looked down at his with soft eyes and sighed. "You stupid god." He whispered and hugged him close. "Will he be okay?" He asked her and she nodded._

" _He'll be fine." She said softly. "His personality won't change; he will just need to be reminded of everything." She said and began to head for the exit. "You should take him back to the palace. Dawn is almost here."_

"You made a deal with Hel." He said softly and his arms tightened around him.

Loki blinked as the man's tone changed a bit. "Well that's a bit melodramatic to say, don't you think?" He said with a small smirk and grinned when the man laughed. It was a comforting laugh and Loki closed his eyes happily at the sound.

"I suppose it is." He said with a small chuckle. "But then you are a very dramatic person. You wouldn't even let me die in peace." He said fondly and kissed his head.

Loki pulled back to look at him. "You died?" he asked and for some reason the idea made him sad. "But you're okay, now… because I made a deal with Hel?" Tony nodded and sighed as they reached a town. "I can walk." Loki said and Tony set him down but held his hand. Loki smiled at him and tucked his hair back with his free hand. "So I'm guessing I traded my memories or something?" He said.

Tony smiled softly, like he still couldn't believe it. "Yeah… you traded the life you had lived and split half of your remaining life with me." Tony smiled at him like he was the most amazing thing in the world and Loki went red.

"Well, it must have been a pretty shit life without you then." He mumbled and felt his cheeks go redder as the man kissed him, warm and slow. Loki may not have had any memories but he knew that if he had done all that to bring he back, he must have loved this man, and from the kiss, he knew the man loved him back. "What's your name?" He breathed as the man pulled away.

Tony chuckled and looked at him fondly. "You would ask me my name before asking me yours." He said. "My name is Anthony, friends call me Tony." Loki smiled down at the ground. "Yours is Loki." He said and kissed his head gently. They walked to the palace slowly, the town slowly filling with people as they made their way there. Loki stopped at the edge of the castle and gripped Tony's hand.

"Anthony…" He said softly. "You'll be with me, in there, right?" he asked, knowing little more than that he had a brother and that Tony's friends thought Tony was dead. "You won't leave me again?"

Tony smiled and grabbed his hands and kissed them. "Never again." He promised and kissed him deeply.

* * *

_A few years later…_

Loki frowned as he looked down at his magic books. He was able to pick up on most of his life within a few years, except his magic and it was frustrating him. He hissed and threw a book across the room, not caring for the startled beep from Tony's robot. "Hey." Tony chuckled as he came in. "If DUM-e had a heart, I'm pretty sure you would have given him a heart attack by now."

Things were stabilizing back on earth. Once things about SHIELD were made public and the remaining SHIELD agents involved we captured, they returned back and tried to settle in with their lives again, everyone, except Natasha, refusing to do more hero work.

"It's not funny, Anthony." Loki muttered and crossed his arms over his chest. "I can't understand these idiotic spells." He said and glared at the table. "And the magic building up in me is not helping to put me in a good mood." He relaxed a bit as he felt Tony's hands began to run over his arms. "Not now, Tony." He said but relaxed at the soft touches. It had been hard on them the first few months, Tony had issues to work through and Loki was sometimes filled with fear that the other man would up and disappear someday, but they slowly worked through it together.

Tony felt Loki shudder as he pressed soft kisses to his neck. "I think now is a good time." He said and nipped at some fading marks from yesterday morning.

"You think any time is a good time." Loki half complained but his body reacted well to Tony, like it always had and he leaned his head back to expose more of his neck. "Insatiable creature." He breathed fondly.

Tony smiled and wound his arms around him, holding him in place as he kept marking him gently. "You say that like you don't like it." He said and moved around the chair to pick him up and carried him to the bed.

Loki gave a soft grunt as he was set down in the center of the large bed but then hummed happily as Tony began to undo his shirt, still peppering kisses down his front. "I'll learn to like it." He lied and moaned as Tony reached his hand down to palm at his member through his jeans, just to tease him and prove that it was a lie. "I do have more than 5,000 years to put up with you." He breathed with a teasing smirk. Tony smirked and he reached his stomach and nipped at the soft skin there.

"You do." He purred and undid Loki's pants and pulled them down and tossed them to the edge of the bed. "Hopefully you learn to put up with that torture." He said and smirked as Loki shuddered as the cool air hit his cock. He smiled and took his length in his hand and stroked slowly as he kept marking the skin on his hips. "Have I told you that you have a beautiful cock recently?" He asked and pressed a kiss to the head of it, pulling back as Loki thrust up in an attempt to get into his mouth.

"Y-yesterday, before I fucked you." Loki almost growled at the teasing, and trying to be dominating, but secretly loved how vulnerable he felt like this. He was completely bare under Tony, his length pink and hard in the man's hand, and he squirmed under the painfully slow touches. He gasped as Tony spread his legs open and nipped at his thigh.

"That's not very nice to say." Tony hummed and marked another bit of his thigh, moving up towards Loki's hole and felt him shiver almost violently as he was close. He leaned forward and pressed his tongue to the pink pucker slowly and licked. He moaned as he felt Loki's hands go to his hair and gripped it tightly. Loki moaned and arched up, his nails digging into Tony's scalp as the other continued his abuse on his sensitive ass. Loki had heard rumors of his past sex life, which was supposed to be as extensive as Tony's, but he didn't care. His forgotten past didn't matter because his present and his future was just Tony.

Tony pulled back and licked his lips, looking up at Loki with dark eyes as he traced a finger over the twitching hole. He loved watching him like this, when Loki was desperate for him and on the verge of losing himself to the pleasure that Tony was giving him. He pressed a finger in slowly and leaned forward to kiss his shaky thighs as he began to move his finger in and out.

"Oh gods!" Loki arched up as he felt pleasure spark through his body as Tony's finger curled against his prostate. "You're so slow!" He panted with slight frustration and tugged at Tony's hair when he felt the other press in another finger. "Mmm yes!" He moaned and tried to push down on the fingers. "A-Anthony just come up here and fuck me!" He whined and Tony chuckled.

"You're so impatient." He said and stretched him out a bit more and pulled his fingers out. "We're going to have to go slow." He warned him and moved up to kiss him and pushed his pants down. He smiled and looked down at him with love. "Gods, you're so beautiful." He purred and stroked himself as he watched him.

Loki looked up at him with soft eyes and reached down and wrapped his hand around his length and stroked him. "And you're incredibly handsome." He breathed softly and looked up at him. "My Anthony." He said softly and moved him down to line Tony up to his hole.

Tony smiled and held his hips as he pressed in slowly. "My Loki." He said softly and kissed him deeply, smiling as Loki moaned into his mouth. He moved slowly, occasionally stopping to let Loki relax around him until he was all the way in.

Loki moved his arms over his back slowly. "Anthony... move, please." he breathed, trembling under him as Tony's cock was deep in him. Tony looked at him with dark eyes and began to move in him slowly. He reached up to grip the headboard as he began to thrust in him slowly.

He looked down at him with dark eyes. "You're so beautiful like this." He purred and thrust in slow and deep, smiling as Loki gasped at each thrust. Loki brought his hands up to his face to cover it.

"Stop looking at me like that." He breathed softly but Tony felt him clench around him, knowing that meant Loki was getting turned on.

"I'm going to fill you up so much, love." He whispered and leaned down to take his hands off his face and pinned them down on either side of his face so he could look down at Loki's blushing face. He nipped at his jaw. "And you're going to come with my come filling your belly."

Loki closed his eyes, not understanding how Tony could pull him apart so easily. "Tony, fuck..." he tried to get his hands out from under him but relaxed a bit and just focused on the pleasure when Tony's hands laced with his own. He was losing himself in the pleasure, just having Tony surround him and encompass all his senses. He felt heat in his stomach and tried to hold back. "Tony, I-" he moaned as Tony caught his lips in a deep kiss.

"Hold on." He breathed and began to move faster in him. "Together." He told him and kissed him again as he came. Loki's screams were swallowed by Tony and he looked up at him with soft eyes. Tony smiled softly at him and pressed soft kisses to his lips as they caught their breath.

Loki smiled into each kiss and looked up at him with loving eyes. "Love you." He said softly. "So much." He gave a soft happy sigh as Tony's hand moved to touch his cheek.

"Love you too." He whispered."For as long as we both live." He promised and sealed it with a deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, finally done! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and let me know what you thought about this!


End file.
